In 1994, weapon developers pitched a "gay bomb" to the United States military. It wasn't a bomb which, according to mid-'90s slang, was "kinda lame." It was supposed to turn its victims homosexual, the assumption being that enemy soldiers' new and instantaneous attraction to one another would supersede the importance of even the most heated battle. You know those gays -- when any two meet, at any time, under any circumstances, they instantly start humping, even if they're currently being shot at.

The Gay Bomb: A Real Thing The US Military Considered
BrokenSphere/Wiki Commons
"No, more phallic-looking."

How ANY of this would have actually worked remains an embarrassing mystery on every scientific and moral level. The title of the document proposing the "gay bomb," amongst other things? "Harassing, Annoying, and Bad Guy Identifying Chemicals."

Forgive us but, uh, doesn't science usually sound a bit more ... scientific than that?

SJ GGR
Michael B. Keller/Department of Defense
Considering other options presented included a chemical to cause "severe and lasting halitosis" and a bomb to "simulate flatulence in enemy ranks," we're gonna say no.

The military would've been better off ordering a bunch of stink bombs.

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