Characters Always Get Stuck In Elevators (And Usually Assist in Childbirth)
If you ever find yourself in an elevator with a wacky neighbor, a monkey, or a pregnant woman, get the fuck out. That elevator is going to get stuck between floors. A sitcom actor gets trapped in an elevator with a crowning pregnant woman every eight minutes. Like in the Saved By The Bell episode "Earthquake," where Zack and friends throw a baby shower for Mr. Belding's wife in order to avoid a physics test. Unfortunately, they get in an elevator right as an earthquake strikes, and they end up turning the place into a maternity ward.
Universal Television"And that, kids, was my wife's gaping, placenta-squirting birth canal!"
This has been happening for generations. In the All In The Family episode "The Elevator Story," lovable racist Archie Bunker is trapped in an elevator with several nonwhites, and one of them starts pushing out a baby. It's uncomfortable.
Sony Pictures TelevisionAll of it is very uncomfortable.
A slight variant happened on WKRP In Cincinnati. In an episode called "Fire," a fire alarm sends the whole crew home early, except for Herb and the woman he sexually harasses on the show for laughs, Jennifer. They end up trapped in the elevator together, and while she doesn't have a baby, Herb does confess to spreading rumors that he had sex with her. It's less gooey than childbirth, but just as disgusting.
In "Porko II," an amazingly titled episode of Gimme A Break, Nell Carter hosts a meeting for her weight loss group, PORKO. Yes, PORKO. The head of the group shows up, and they all mock him for regaining the weight he lost. But oh no! The PORKO members soon find themselves stuck in an elevator that can't handle all their porking weight. In the end, Nell talks their leader out of suicide, and everyone agrees to lose two pounds a week. That's what TV used to be like, kids.
Universal Television"Yes, this is Nell Carter, and YES, I am stuck in the elevator again! Oh no, you did NOT just laugh."
In the Night Court episode "The Blizzard," lady-chasing sex addict Dan gets stuck in an elevator with a ... a gay man!?
Warner Bros. Television"Let's have them sleep together?" "Like, full penetration!?" "That's not what I meant, but maybe?" -- Night Court Writers Room, 1984
And can you imagine getting stuck on an elevator with two sumo wrestlers!? The writers of Night Court could, in the episode "Earthquake!"
Warner Bros. Television"Are we crazy?" "Fuck you, talking bug monster." -- Night Court Writers Room, 1985
OK wait, this can't be right. In yet another episode of Night Court, "The Blues Of The Birth," Christine gets trapped in an elevator with two men and goes into labor. It took them a couple of tries, but Night Court, the industry leader in trapping actors in elevators, finally delivered its first elevator baby!
Warner Bros. Television"Oh! You know where we should have Christine give birth?" "Yes. Totally on the same page." "Say it together on three. One. Two." "ELEVATOR!" "CAR DRIVEN BY MONKEY CRASHING INTO COURTR- oh, that’s OK, too, I guess ...” -- Night Court Writers Room, 1986
Joel B. Kirk resides in the San Francisco Bay Area and thinks the retro '80s music group The Midnight is too cool for words.
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For more check out 6 Weirdly Specific Characters That Are in Every Sitcom Ever and Why Every '80s Sitcom Decided to Kill Off the Mom.
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