You Can Buy Christmas MAGA Hats To Alienate Your Family

Do you want to alienate your friends and family, while taking a bold pro-Christmas stance that literally nobody opposes? Then these $45 MAGA "Merry Christmas" hats are for you. Toxic jingoism never looked so festive, with the words "MAGA" wrapped in Christmas lights.

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If the Christmas season means, "aggressively tying a widely beloved holiday to a particular political ideology," say it loud and proud with this hat. Sure, Christmas is celebrated by a wide variety of people regardless of political orientation, but that doesn't mean you can't use it as a cudgel to beat people over the heads with!

"Make Christmas Great Again!" says the GOP Twitter account, with a link where you can buy $45 worth of hat. Unfortunately, the acronym for Make Christmas Great Again is MCGA, which when pronounced sounds like the name of some dark demonic entity, "Mk'gah." So the hats are sticking with the standard "MAGA." What does American Exceptionalism have to do with Christmas, exactly? Well, it all started when Santa (who is American) and Jesus (also American) teamed up with Ronald Reagan to quash the communist elf revolt, who wanted to "unionize." The good ol' US of A bombed the shit out of elftown and that's the story of the first Christmas. Ho ho ho!

For more check out What Stupid News About Millennials Is There Now? (11/14/2017) and What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/19/2017).

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