Amazon Key is a service that unlocks your door for couriers to access your residence WHEN YOU'RE NOT HOME. Homeowners might feel uneasy about this, bu

I understand the general concern about an automated system unlocking your door to allow in deliveries. I have no less than 20 locks on my front door, invisible lasers, and a sphinx who asks a riddle only I know the answer to. Answer wrong, and she eats you.

But some of the more harrowing dangers of this system could be faced by the couriers. How do they know the home they're delivering to isn't filled with vicious dogs? Even if you're delivering to some fancy house in Beverly Hills, a flock of Pomeranians can skeletalize a cow in 10 seconds. Rich people have on average about 40 Pomeranians per household, a breed that compensates for its size with territorial ferocity and bloodthirsty tenacity. Once they latch onto you, you'll have to amputate your own arm to be rid of them.

There are other dangers lurking for couriers. The Amazon Key is the prefect delivery system for agoraphobic serial killers. They may not want to leave their homes, but they do like killin'. Now the fun of murder can be delivered right to their front door! All they have to do is simply install the Amazon Key, and a trap floor that leads into a deep, dark pit. Then the serial killers can stand smugly over the pit, stroking their 40 Pomeranians as they loftily command their captive to, "Rub the lotion (that I can reorder with Amazon dash buttons!) on its skin, or else it gets the hose (that I bought on Amazon Prime at an amazing price) again!"

For more check out This Week In Pop Culture (10/20/17) and What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (10/22/2017).

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