6 Famous Characters Who Were Way Different In The Book

6

Book Catelyn Stark Becomes A Vengeance-Obsessed Zombie

Game Of Thrones' Red Wedding was arguably the most pants-soiling scene in television history. Not only did it shock almost the entire audience to tears, but it also delighted book-reading nerds, who had been sitting on that bloodsoaked gem for years waiting to see the reactions of their illiterate friends. (You can even watch George R. R. Martin revel in these reactions like the sadist he is.) But then, to book fans' collective surprise, something else happened -- or didn't happen, to be more specific. The most shocking part of the Red Wedding was left out of the TV show. It was not another death, but Catelyn Stark's return to unlife.

HBONo. Not like that ... at least, we don't think ...

The final depressing note of the Red Wedding is Catelyn, Mother of Badasses, dying after watching her son be brutally murdered. As the camera lingered, Game Of Thrones non-readers knew that that was the last they'd ever see of her. No red priestess was going to revive her -- her throat was slit, and she was done-zo. But that wasn't the vision of that crazy, crazy author.

No, she isn't revived by the red priestess in the book; that would be laying it on a bit thin. In fact, it's Beric Dondarrion, the guy with more lives than a video game character, who blows life into her corpse with a kiss. Very Disney, sure, but the aftermath isn't. Beric dies transferring his life-giving essence into her, but even that isn't enough to fully bring her back. Catelyn comes back ... different, like a zombie. As Lady Stoneheart, her new moniker, her corpse-bod never recovered, and she still sports rotten white skin, wispy white hair, and a somewhat less-pleasant voice thanks to the julienning of her vocal cords. She's also an actual monster, driven entirely by revenge, drained of all the warmth she ever had. After she assumes leadership of the Brotherhood Without Banners, their main mission switches from protecting the common folk to hanging anyone who ever so much as made eye contact with a Lannister.

Cracked.comWe would totally watch a Pet Semetary / Game Of Thrones crossover, for the record.

5

Book Gandalf Doesn't Have Any Genitals

If there was one tiny criticism we could level at the Lord Of The Rings movies, it's that the big screen really highlighted how male-centric Tolkien's epic was. For most of the three movies, we see nothing but bands of dudes trekking through the wilderness, eating lembas bread and beans and probably farting all over each other. But the Fellowship being a veritable Hobbit feast of sausages is an illusion. In fact, one of them doesn't have a sausage at all, or any other food-related genital euphemisms, for that matter.

New Line CinemaNope. Not those either.

4

Book Forrest Gump Smokes A Lot Of Weed (And Looks Like John Goodman)

Forrest Gump is the story of a mild-mannered intellectually challenged man who stumbles his way through American historical events like he's a time traveler with severe jet lag. In fact, his fictional life is so ridiculously full of ridiculous adventures that when Robert Zemeckis decided to make a movie out of Winston Groom's novel, he could cherry pick which tales would get told and which didn't. The result changed the character so much that Book Gump wouldn't even recognize Movie Gump if they sat next to each other on a bus bench.

Paramount PicturesCould be. You wouldn't know.

3

Book Sherlock Holmes Is An Action Hero Badass

Oh how we all laughed at the slow-mo fighting in Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movies. After all, nerdy detective types aren't exactly known for their punching skills, and the idea of someone being so smart that they can calculate ass-kickings is just silly, right? Except it turns out that Ritchie's Sherlock might be the most faithful adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's detective because of all that brawling.

Yup, Sherlock Holmes boxes. In one book, a prizefighter recognizes Sherlock not as a famous detective but as the guy who gave him an ass-kicking to remember in the ring. Does that sound like something you could see Benedict Cumberbatch do? We think not. And that's only the beginning. The Sherlock canon is so full of breathless descriptions of his physical prowess and how impressed everyone around him is that it verges on revealing eyebrow-raising things about Sir Doyle.

2

In The Howl's Moving Castle Book, Howl is a 27-Year-Old Welshman Who Chases Teenage Girls

Howl's Moving Castle is a delightfully weird Studio Ghibli movie that tells the story of a young woman cursed with an aged body finding a soulmate in a handsome but aloof wizard named Howl. But that's not exactly the Howl we read about in Diana Wynne Jones' 1986 novel of the same name, wherein the leading man is neither a charming antiwar agitator nor a beautifully troubled soul. Then again, we can't really blame Ghibli for making some changes to the character, seeing as the original guy was basically a cross between the Wizard of Oz and Humbert Humbert.

Studio Ghibli"Oh, the castle tilted, causing me to lean closer to your chest. How awkward ..."

1

Book Dracula Is An Awkward Loser

We've mentioned before that the original descriptions of Dracula wouldn't heave any bosoms. But you know what? That's unfair. So what if he has weird body hair and bad breath? He's still a nobleman with his own castle. That and a bit of charm can get you plenty of fair maidens. Except Bram Stoker's Dracula wasn't terribly suave, either. In fact, he's downright awkward.

Universal PicturesSeems on track so far.

In one passage of the 1897 fang-fiction, Dracula offers Jonathan Harker a post-supper cigar ... which he, Dracula, had already lit and begun smoking. That's bad manners all by itself, but then Dracula comments offhand that he doesn't smoke. He says this as he's smoking a cigar. The exchange makes Dracula seem more like a confused grandfather than a supernatural womanizer. Can vampires sundown? Is that a thing?

The Michael Scott moments don't stop there. There's another scene wherein Dracula escapes from a band of vampire hunters by hiding in a crowd and sneaking aboard a ship. Dracula's a guy who tends to stand out in a crowd, so how did he accomplish this? By donning a straw hat which, as Van Helsing later recalls, "suit not him or the time." That's right, Dracula looked like so much of a nerd that even stoic Van Helsing couldn't help but make fun of his wardrobe. Imagine Lord Voldemort trying to slink away from Harry by hiding under a pretty floral bonnet. How can you still be scared of a monster after that?

Universal Pictures"Oh my god, I can hear you. Just go back to your room, loser."

Another fun Dweeby Dracula fact: He's a stingy money hoarder. During the same straw hat escape, a hurried Dracula still can't stop his greedy hands from snatching all the loose bills and coins scattered around his hideout. He then palms his couch money and runs, fumbling his precious loose change all the way to the boat, because apparently the master of style has never heard of a wallet. Between the bushy hair in various places and constant clinking of gold coins accompanying his every move, it turns out that instead of Gary Oldman, you should be envisioning Scrooge McDuck.

Manna's character on Twitter is way different from the book.

The Red Wedding also comes in card game form and we'd be remiss not to suggest giving it a try. Come on, it won't kill you!

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For more check out 6 Deleted Scenes That Prove the Book Isn't Always Better and 4 Scenes From Books That Were Too F***cked Up For The Movie.

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