Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

"Have you ever felt like your cat or dog wasn't just a pet, but a member of the family?" IKEA said in the description of their new line of furniture for pets. "It's exactly that focus that led IKEA to make the comprehensive LURVIG pet product range." IKEA clearly doesn't understand family. IKEA furniture tears families apart. Try searching three hours to find the missing N-2027 screw to the Ploooikta lounger, without winding up going through a divorce.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Is that what IKEA wants? For us to divorce our pets? Because that's what's going to happen once we get our furry friends involved in furniture assembly. Picture this scene, because it is inevitable: A frenzied owner cries, "Baxter, which way does this peg go? Baxter? Are you even trying? Baxter do you even love me anymore?? I bought this miniature couch for you Baxter!" Baxter's owner then runs away in tears, while Baxter is left wondering how a piece of furniture could come between him and his beloved owner. He licks his balls circumspectly.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Dog has been man's best friend for over ten thousand years, but that time has come to an end. After a day of trying to place every 100-count tiny bolt into a tiny bed, both man and dog will reconsider their alliance. Cats, on the other hand, will love this new furniture. There's no greater pleasure for a cat than to watch their owners struggle and question the meaning of their own existence.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

16 Comments

Load Comments

More Articles

5 Screwed-Up Secrets The Ultra-Rich Don't Want You To Know

You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.

229

5 Incredible Movie Facts (That Are Actually Total BS)

The stories we tell about movies are as important as the movies themselves.

95

5 Crazy Statistics That'll Change How You Think Of Crime

Criminal behavior can be influenced by some very weird, seemingly random factors.

156

5 Billion-Dollar Industries That Treat Workers Like Garbage

Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.

248

5 Huge Scandals With Crazy Details The News Barely Mentioned

The news spent weeks reporting on these giant scandals without bothering to mention the stupidest parts.

124

6 Iconic Movies And Shows That Were Outright Ripoffs

Even Hollywood couldn't deny these films were total thievery.

123