GOOD NEWS! TRUMP JUST DEDICATED A GOLF TROPHY TO HURRICANE VICTIMS. I mean, it'd be cool if people in Puerto Rico had power, or critical supplies like

Puerto Rico just suffered massive destruction as a result of hurricane Maria, and is in desperate need of aid. A little while ago, Trump wondered why the foreign country-- oh wait I'm sorry, I meant the U.S. territory full of naturalized U.S. citizens-- needed "everything to be done for them" by the federal government. You know, like how Texas and Florida got no help from the feds (hint: they did). Puerto Rico still needs supplies, and the mayor of San Juan called for more help, warning that the slow federal response is "killing us with the inefficiency." Trump responded by calling critics of the government's response "politically motivated ingrates."

Anyways, that's the bad news. The good news is Trump dedicated a golf trophy to the hurricane victims. Neat! It's gold and shiny and it was won in the illustrious Presidents Cup golf tournament. For my fellow non-wealthy people: golf (pronounced gee-ooulf) is a physical activity that rich people ritualistically take part in. The object of the game is to hit a tiny ball with a big metal club, and hope that ball falls down into a hole, because the ball is bad and deserves bad things to happen to it.

It's a nice gesture of President Trump to offer this trophy to hurricane victims (no, the victims will NOT get to keep the trophy, don't be stupid), especially when coupled with his statement that regarding the hurricane stuff, "we have it under really great control, Puerto Rico." I mean, sure there are lots of residents who say they haven't gotten any aid, and there are tons of shipping containers full of supplies sitting in San Juan that can't be distributed due to a lack of vehicles and fuel, but hey! At least they get a trophy! And trophies are for winners!

Want more Cracked in your life?

Get the One Cracked Fact daily newsletter! With exclusive content & links to the best from Cracked every day, it’s the only email you need. 
Starts July 26th, sign up now!

Forgot Password?