5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of

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5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of

Most religious practices look kind of ridiculous out of context. We can make fun of "wacky" foreign religions all we want, but unlike Christianity, almost none of them feature a holy foreskin. Still, we did say we can make fun of them all we want, so let's go ahead and do that now.

The Phra Nang Cave Is Chock Full O' Dongs (NSFW)

The legend of Phra Nang is different depending on who tells it, but what's generally accepted is that:

1) She was some sort of divine being whose spirit is said to inhabit a cave in southern Thailand.

2) She craves the D.

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
deror_avi/Wiki Commons

It's unclear why visitors started bringing Phra Nang literal and metaphorical wood. Maybe it has something to do with her fertility powers. Maybe they thought it was really funny.

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
Giuseppe Bognanni/Flickr
And in all fairness, it is.

But god help you if you piss her off. After workers building a new luxury resort nearby accidentally torched Phra Nang's beloved collection, the resort's generator blew up during their grand opening. It seems likely that those people just weren't that good at handling combustibles, but hey, we don't know. It could have been dick spirits.

Related: 6 Real Museums Straight Out of Your Nightmares

The Paluang Temple To The Holy Automobile

According to local legend, villagers of Karang Dawa once found a stone shaped like a car. After standing around and agreeing that it was some weird shit, alright, they threw it back into the ocean. But it kept getting washed back up in the same spot. Taking this as a sign that god is a gearhead, the villagers built a place of worship at that site, which is now the Paluang Car Temple. Everyone claims it's hundreds of years old, which is especially impressive considering that the car in question is a VW bug, license plate and all.

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
Roman/Adobe Stock

4
Roman/Adobe Stock
Hey, it might be a lie, but it's an impressive lie.

Keep in mind that this is an isolated village on a tiny Indonesian island that's mostly forest, so it would indeed be weird to see a car. It would be weird to hear one too, but during the semiannual celebration of Tumpek Krulut, all the villagers claim to hear a nearby car engine -- a sure sign that the goddess Ratu Hyang Mami will bless the villagers with wealth and prosperity.

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
Roman/Adobe Stock
Or at least this adorable SUV.

Related: Deep Inside India's Ancient Sex Statue Temple

Get up close, however, and it starts looking like Buddha has a drinking problem. Yes, the temple owes its soothing neutral color scheme to brown bottles of Chang, a favorite local beer, and green bottles of an ancient Thai concoction called Heineken. Built all the way back in the ancient 1980s, it's often called Million-Bottle Temple, which isn't strictly accurate. It's actually made of 1.5 million bottles.

hiths
Mark Fischer/Wiki Commons
1,500,000 bottles of beer on the wall, 1,500,000 bottles of beer

It has since become a beloved environmentalist landmark, reminding partiers in Thailand to at least clean up after themselves, even if they can't clean up their lives. The monks are so serious about recycling that they've even found a use for the bottle caps. It's kind of like how Native Americans used every part of a bison, but with beer.

Related: Buddhist Monk Who Enlightened A Country With His Dong

Torture And Bureaucracy Meet In The Dongyue Temple

Taoism envisions the afterlife as a sort of mashup of Office Space and Reservoir Dogs: an elaborate bureaucracy consisting of over 70 departments, the most interesting of which are devoted to inflicting spectacularly bizarre violence. The god Dongyue rules this paperwork-filled abattoir, and Beijing houses a temple dedicated to him. The Dongyue Temple is full of statues and tableaux depicting the afterlife's many departments.

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G41rn8/Wiki Commons
Somewhere, across the world, Gene Simmons wakes up in a cold sweat.

These include the Department of Paying Back Evil with Evil, and the Department for Implementing 15 Kinds of Violent Death to punish the sinners, as well as the Department of Distribution of Medication and the Department of Controlling Theft and Robbery to help the afterlife run smoothly. The Department for Bestowing Happiness and the Department for Increasing Good Fortune and Longevity reward the virtuous, while the Department of Demons and Monsters manages the denizens of hell like a supernatural DMV.

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
G41rn8/Wiki Commons
So exactly like the regular DMV, then.

At the temple, you can learn how records move from the Department for Recording Merits all the way to the Department for Increasing Good Future and Longevity. Each department has a convenient collection box (which just might go to supporting the temple's Taoist monks). This isn't the only temple of its kind. Hell, it's not even the weirdest one. That honor might go to the Dongyue temple in Yunnan province, whose official tourism website shows us photos like this:

LE NARO Crysolfures Doseye Tereple Xlarvrur courvty Sert IConel
Yunnan Tourism Website
With a handy link to register yourself on an official government watchlist after viewing.

Related: 'Legends Of The Hidden Temple' Was Nightmare Fuel

The Japanese Shrine For Creepy Dolls

A Japanese folk belief holds that if you don't dispose of a doll properly, its soul will stick around and haunt you. Luckily you can avoid pissing off any dolls you've been fearfully hoarding at a shrine like Awashima Jinja, where over time, they will gather into an army that will one day invade the world of man.

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Wiki Commons

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
I, KENPEI
"Your time is over. Our time is now."

That's not a single room. The whole temple is pretty much a giant, deranged toy box. Most of the dolls in Awashima Jinja are hina ningyo, given ceremonially on Girls' Day, when families pray for the health and happiness of their daughters. And by "happiness," we of course mean "that they don't get eaten by thousands of creepy abandoned dolls."

Every year, Awashima Jinja disposes of hina ningyo in an elaborate ceremony. The dolls are all placed onto small boats to the point of overflowing, and then sent to float in the ocean. This ritual (nagashi bina) is believed to bring good luck and health to their former owners, because the dolls will take sickness and bad luck with them down to the ocean floor. It's Baby's First Viking Funeral.

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
Ellie/Flickr
The journey to Dollhalla begins.

And now, here's one's for cats:

5 Mind-Blowingly Weird Religious Sites You've Never Heard Of
Wiki Commons
The photographer was never seen again.

Check out Dwayne's Facebook, Twitter, or website to see the famous musicians he gets to interview. You can find Tiagosvn praying on Twitter at @LeTiago.

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Related: The 7 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Celebrity Dolls & Toys

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