The news is specifically crafted to keep you swinging from rage to terror and back again. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with all the headlines while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

SHIA LABEOUF WILL NOT BE IN INDIANA JONES 5. LaBeouf will not reprise his role of Mutt Williams, Indiana Jones' son from Kingdom of the Crystal Skul

DONALD TRUMP HAS ANNOUNCED HE IS ENDING DACA IN SIX MONTHS. DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) protected immigrants who arrived as children

Vodafone IN 3:56 PM 89% What can I help you with? A DETERMINED 14-YEAR-OLD TEXAS GIRL NAMED TYLER FRANK USED SIRI TO CONTACT THE COAST GUARD, B GOLDRI

Source: CNN

COLIN TREVORROW HAS BEEN FIRED AS DIRECTOR OF STAR WARS EPISODE IX. The film, slated for release in 2019, will no Times longer be directed by Trevorro

Source: Star Wars

A 41-YEAR-OLD MAN NAMED AARON MITCHELL RAN PAST SECURITY AND INTO THE FLAMING EFFIGY AT THE BURNING MAN FESTIVAL IN NEVADA: He was rescued by firefigh

Source: CBC

A MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE KILLED DOZENS IN MEXICO. At least 61 people died in the 8.1 magnitude quake, the largest to hit the region in a century.

Source: CNN

Daredevil scribe Drew Goddard is writing and directing the X-FORCE movie. Ryan Reynolds and Josh Brolin, who star as Deadpool and Cable in next year's

Source: Deadline

US AMBASSADOR NIKKI HALEY SAYS NORTH KOREA IS BEGGING FOR WAR. The situation with North Korea has continued to escalate after Ambassador Haley calle

HACKERS STOLE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT INFORMATION FROM THOUSANDS OF USERS. The hack, which affected Selena Gomez's account, collected user contact informati

Source: The Verge

THE RED sox WERE USING APPLE WATCHES TO STEAL SIGNS FROM THE YANKEES. At least four members of the Boston team were involved in a complex relay system

Source: USA Today

THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT SAID IT FOUND NO EVIDENCE OF WIRETAPPING AT TRUMP TOWER. TRUMP TOW The announcement debunked President Trump's accusation. of f

Source: CNN

TROY GENTRY, HALF OF THE AWARD-WINNING COUNTRY MUSIC DUO MONTGOMERY GENTRY WAS KILLED IN A HELICOPTER CRASH. HE WAS 5O YEARS OLD. CRACKED.COM

Source: AOL

HURRICANE IRMA DEVASTATED THE EASTERN CARIBBEAN AND CUBA, KILLING AT LEAST 43 PEOPLE, BEFORE MAKING LANDFALL IN FLORIDA, CAUSING WIDESPREAD DAMAGE, FL

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