Some days the news reads like a cryptic note you wrote to yourself in the middle of the night. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

AlIGECOPPER FORGOT HE HAD AN ANDY WARHOL PRINT WORTH MILLIONS IN STORAGE. The silkscreen of an electric chair was purchased while Cooper and Warhol we

amazon HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF ARTIFICIALLY INFLATING PRICES TO FOOL CUSTOMERS WITH FAKE DISCOUNTS ON prime day A-U:S. advocacy group says Amazon is viola

AFTER PUBLIC OUTCRY, MICROSOFT AGREED NOT TO KILL MS PAINT. Earlier it was revealed that MS Paint would not be included in the new operating system. P

PRESIDENT TRUMP APPOINTED JOHN KELLY AS WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF AND DISMISSED REINCE PRIEBUS. KELLY WAS THE HOMELAND SECURITY SECRETARY PRIOR TO TA

A RECENT STUDY FOUND THAT 110 OUT OF 111 NFL PLAYER BRAINS EXAMINED HAD A DEGENERATIVE BRAIN DISEASE. The study examined the brains of 202 deceased fo

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/1/17)

ANGELINA JOLIE REVEALED IN AN INTERVIEW WITH TRU MP'S DEADLY FAIR DECISION Angie Solo te asn THAT SHE RECENTLY SUFFERED A BOUT OF BELL'S PALSY, A COND

Adobe HAS ANNOUNCED THAT IT WILL COMPLETELY KILL ADOBE FLASH BY THE END OF 2020. F Security concerns, performance issues, and obsolescence are the und

AMAZON CEO JEFF BEZOS WAS THE WORLD'S RICHEST PERSON FOR A FEW HOURS. Amazon shares surged to $1,083 on Thursday, driving Bezos' net worth over $92 bi

A CONSERVATIVE IRANIAN TV HOST IS FACING BACKLASH. Azadeh Namdari is under fire after being filmed on vacation in Switzerland, without her hijab and d

PRESIDENT TRUMP DECLARED TRANSGENDER PEOPLE WON'T BE ALLOWED TO SERVE THE MILITARY IN ANY CAPACITY. The Twitter message came after an Obama administ

JUSTIN BIEBER HAS CANCELLED THE REST OF HIS WORLD TOUR. A source claims he was just over it. Though Bieber has not given an official reason for the

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