The news outlets are like infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters, but without all the Shakespeare. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

GEORGE R.R. MARTIN WILL EHECUTIUE PRODUCE AN HBO ADAPTATION OF WHO FEARS DEATH. The series will be based on the Nnedi Okorafor fantasy novel set in -a

KERMIT THE FROG'S PERFORMER, STEVE WHITMIRE, HAS LEFT THE MUPPETS. Whitmire has been Kermit's voice and puppeteer since 1990, after the death of Jim H

Source: Uproxx

SINGER DION DIMUCCI IS SUING BETHESDA OVER THE USE OF THE WANDERER IN AN AD FOR Fallut4 The lawsuit calls the trailer repugnant, saying it depicts

Source: IGN

The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/18/17)

Source: CNN

A 57-YEAR-OLD WOMAN DIED FROM INJURIES SUSTAINED WHEN SHE WAS KNOCKED OVER BY THE BLAST OF A JET ENGINE AT MAHO BEACH, ST. MAARTEN, A TOURIST SPOT FAM

Source: ABC News

JOHN BERNECKER, A 33-YEAR-OLD STUNTMAN FOR tHE WALKINGDEAD DIED FROM INURIES SUSTAINED AFTER FALLING FROM A 25 FOOT BALCONY WHTLE REHEARSING A FIGHT S

DANIEL CRAIG IS ON BOARD FOR BOND 25, AND NOLAN IS IN TALKS TO DIRECT. The film will start shooting next year, with Craig signed on to play Bond. Chri

A FORMER USA GYMNASTICS DOCTOR PLEADED GUILTY TO CHILD PORN CHARGES. Larry Nassar admitted guilt in the case as part of a plea to avoid federal crimin

Source: NPR

CHINA HAS BANNED LGBT CONTENT FROM THE INTERNET. The China Netcasting Services Association is banning what it believes to be abnormal sexual activit

DONALD TRUMP JR. MET WITH A RUSSIAN LAWYER FOR DIRT ON HILLARY CLINTON DURING THE ELECTION. Trump Jr. may be in violation of the Logan Act, OR which r

Sources: NBC News, Digg

IRAQ'S PRIME MINISTER ABADI HAS DECLARED VICTORY AGAINST ISIS IN MOSUL. The nine-month battle to retake the northern Iraq city has resulted in the dea

Source: BBC

FIVE PEOPLE WERE ATTACKED WITH ACID IN LONDON. The assaults occurred within a 90- minute period, with all of the victims riding mopeds at the time of

Source: BBC

OSCAR-WINNING ACTOR MARTIN LANDAU PASSED AWAY AT AGE 89. Landau, whose credits include Alfred Hitchcock's North By Northwest and the Mission: Impossib

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