If only because caffeine pills are so much more convenient.
Everything In The Book Of Revelations Probably Already Happened Thousands Of Years Ago
You know the Book Of Revelations from the Bible, and every fourth Nicolas Cage movie. The seven seals are opened, unleashing the four horsemen; a seven-headed beast rises from the sea, and a final battle commences on the fields of Armageddon. Religious nuts consider it our future, but that's probably because they don't realize it was actually in the past.
The Book Of Revelations is also known as the Revelation To John, who most people don't realize is not the same guy that wrote the Book Of John, from the Gospels. In fact, most Biblical scholars think the Book Of Revelations was written at some point after the year 70 A.D., which actually makes a ton of sense: See, around 70 A.D., the Romans sacked the shit out of Jerusalem, driving out the Jews and destroying their temples. From the Jewish point of view, you could almost call these events ... apocalyptic.
Yep, experts are saying that the Book Of Revelations was likely religious war propaganda, written to rally the Jewish people under the comforting belief that God was going to come back and lay the smack down on those Romans. Scholars have found plenty of evidence to support the view that the Book Of Revelations actually describes an incident from the writer's lifetime, instead of some terrifying ecclesiastical future war. The seven-headed monster points to Rome and its famous seven hills. The mark of the beast, 666, is thought to be a numerological reference to Emperor Nero, who had a storied history of oppressing early Christians. Why, you could almost say the man was anti-Christ. The fields of Armageddon were probably referring to al-Megiddo, a famous battlefield of the time that had already been the site of various conflicts with Pagan armies. In all likelihood, John wasn't prophesying some awful future event in the Book Of Revelations: He was angrily blogging about the world he was living in, whipping it all up with fantastical drama and elaborate slurs, like a slightly less influential Breitbart.com.
James is on Twitter, and has recently tried his hand at blogging.
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