The British royal family's fake murders are starting to pile up.
When confronted with hard evidence that he had been using forged documents, Allen repentantly confessed to the whole ruse, and agreed to donate whatever proceeds he made from his books to charity. Wait, no, he did the opposite of that. Allen doubled down, claiming that his totally real documents had been replaced by obvious fakes by someone trying to sabotage his reputation. Because if you're already crazy enough to rewrite world history, why not do it to your own life as well?
Ultimately, no charges were brought against Allen, as his health was in poor shape at the time and the police figured that he'd be in a small confined space without sunlight pretty quickly anyway. Also, nobody was too sure what Allen's endgame was supposed to be. There's not exactly a lot of money to be made in the historical essay game. If you're going to forge something, at least make it about Lady Gaga so you can maybe get a job at TMZ.
A Con Man Fakes An Entire Reality Show
In 2002, 30 reality show hopefuls angled for a spot on a mysterious, year-long show with a prize of 100,000 pounds for whoever managed to come out on top. But when they showed up in London, they were given only one task: Make enough money to fund a reality show -- please?
20th Century Fox
Did anyone consider counterfeiting?
On the supposed launch day, the dream quickly fell apart. The "contestants" were put into three teams and given their first and only assignment: They had to go out and earn a million pounds. A tricky feat, considering their promised housing, food, and allowances were nowhere to be found. When they tried to call the show's dashing producer, Nikita Russian, no one answered. It also didn't take long for the contestants with basic math skills to figure out that at 10 winners with 100 grand apiece, they were just earning their own prize -- which is what some people would call "a job." Also, no mention was made of what would happen with the vast sums of money the losing teams had accrued, except that they had to be deposited in a bank account of Nick Russian's choosing. Smooth.
By the time the participants realized they had been duped, most of them had already paid a different price. This wasn't some appearance on Jeopardy; it was the promise of a year-long adventure away from their regular lives. Several people literally had no homes to go back to, and many more had quit jobs, ended relationships, and/or moved far away just for the chance to be swindled by Russian. At this point, you might be asking yourself who would be stupid enough to halt their lives for a sketchy promise made by some dude in a leather jacket, but Russian went all-out in making this look legit (except for when he chose that name). The contestants had participated in several auditions and "psychological tests" in a suite on a private island, signed contracts with plenty of promises, the works. Many of them also admitted to have been convinced by his good looks, which we find interesting, because Russian at the time looked like a coked-out rich kid.
Which ... actually, is exactly what a producer looks like.
But it was all a lie. The private island wasn't paid for, the camera crew were film students, and Russian's "personal assistant" turned out to be his mom. Nik Russian (his legal name, but only because he had it changed from Jack Lister, which he had changed from Keith Anthony Gillard) was nothing but a bored kid who wanted to fund a TV career without paying his dues. Once he realized that his money-making scheme had not come to fruition, Russian appeared on the doorstep of one of the team's pads, confessing to his grand lie. The team, moved by his honesty, locked him in the house and called the news. Unfortunately, Russian managed to get away, the film crews left, and the contestants discovered that since they had never technically given money to Silly McNameson, there was no chance of filing a criminal suit against him. It was the perfect crime: being too stupid and incompetent to truly do anything illegal.
The participants/suckers did eventually receive some closure. The whole incident was turned into a documentary called The Great Reality TV Swindle. And while they couldn't all get back the houses they had sold or the significant others they had broken up with, they can at least say they got to know someone named Nikita Russian, which is more than we can say about our own accomplishments.
Also check out 8 Brilliant Ways Dumb Criminals Displayed Their Stupidity and 4 Brazenly Stupid Criminals Who Just Didn't Give a Crap.
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Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. A young woman from the trailer park and her very smelly cat. Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits, a new novel about futuristic shit, by David Wong.
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