These days, he's an author. Dude must be allergic to cash or something.
One of the world's most prolific art thieves, Breitwieser stole more than 200 pieces over six years, with a total value of over $1.4 billion, which is like stealing ten Iron Man suits, or Warren Buffett's wallet. With the help of his girlfriend Anne-Catherine Kleinklauss, he would simply stroll into museums, cut paintings out of their frames, roll them up under his coat, and walk on out like there wasn't suddenly an empty frame behind him. Then, with millions of dollars' worth of squiggles tucked in his pants, he would transport them to his underground lair and sell them to his vast network of underground contacts. Just kidding! He kept them in his mom's house to look at, like they were his childhood posters of the Wu-Tang Clan.
Though we would have totally kept that sweet crossbow too, if we're being honest.
In November 2001, Breitwieser was finally busted while trying to steal a bugle from a museum in Switzerland. He would later confess to all of his thefts, giving a detailed list of everything. His mom, however, had other plans. When she heard of his arrest, she tried destroying every last bit of art, shredding and throwing away some of it, while tossing much of it into the Rhine River, because the garbage was full, the river was there, and iconoclasm means never having to worry about etiquette. 110 of the pieces were eventually recovered, while 60 still remain unaccounted for, though they're probably recycled toilet paper by now. Breitwieser, his girlfriend, and his mother all served remarkably short prison sentences and are already free again, though probably banned from every museum, antique store, and retro diner in the world.