4

Clark Kent Publicly Annihilates A Semi-Truck, Risking Everything To Show A Dude Up

In Man Of Steel, Clark Kent works at a truck stop, pre-journalism career. There, he stops an asshole trucker from sexually harassing a waitress. Then this happens:

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

Kent walks away because he's the better man ... or at least the more passive-aggressive one.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Instead of killing the guy, he super-destroys the guy's truck in a crowded, well-lit parking lot that probably has security cameras. Clark outs himself as a freaky alien god just to pettily destroy the property of some guy who was a total dick that one time. Now, just like with Spider-Man, we would almost certainly have done the same thing in his position -- but we're not supposed to be role models. We're barely even citizens.

3

Daredevil Brazenly Assaults A Passing Woman In A Public Park

In 2003's Daredevil, Matt Murdock is interested in Elektra and, after having his advances rebuffed, follows her to a park and asks for her name. She makes it clear that she finds this uncomfortable, and then this happens:

20th Century Fox

2

Blade Assaults, Detains, And Brandishes A Gun At A Police Officer In Broad Daylight

Blade is about a half-vampire who hunts down blood suckers with kickass gadgets and an exploding samurai sword. At one point his love interest Karen survives a vampire attack and heads back to her apartment, where she's met by a police officer who works for the villain. He tries to murder Karen, but Blade fucks him up. Now, it's shady enough that he has to interrogate the officer for information in the privacy of Karen's apartment. But instead, Blade inexplicably takes his "I'm-worse-than-anything-at-Gitmo" interrogation techniques outside.

New Line Cinema

1

No Superhero Follows FAA Regulations Designed To Save Lives

Air traffic control (ATC) is brought to you by the Federal Aviation Administration, a government agency with one very important job: enforcing a host of regulations designed to prevent mid-air collisions. The FAA usually does a good job, but superheroes make safe skies impossible. Birds damage planes -- just ask Tom Hanks. Erratic humans decked out in armor would annihilate them.

Marvel Studios

Part of ATC's job is to check in with pilots via radio. Superman doesn't fly around with a headset on, and he's too small to track on radar, so no one has any idea where the hell he is, or where he's going. If Green Lantern gets distracted by how awful his movie is, this could happen:

Pixar

This is why all civilian pilots have to file flight plans with the FAA before take-off. That way, ATC can warn them of other planes in their path, and coordinate the whole thing. But Batman doesn't file a flight plan when he busts out the Batwing. Airports are restricted airspace for a reason. The President is a moving no-fly zone, and Wonder Woman's invisible jet could meet a Patriot missile if she flies too close to Mar-a-Lago. The FAA also sets standards for air speed. Superman can only fly 200 knots over land, so he doesn't smash windows by blasting through the sound barrier. There's even an entire list of regulations about avoiding thunderstorms. You know, the kind Thor causes just about every single time he flies.

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For more superheroes that belong behind bars, check out 7 Movies With Horrible Mass Deaths You Never Noticed and The 7 Biggest Dick Moves in the History of Superheroes.

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