Daredevil Can Punch Women: 5 Super-Ignored Superhero Crimes

5

Peter Parker Casually Steals Pivotal Evidence In A Major Crime

The romantic subplot of the first Spider-Man 2 features Peter Parker wooing Mary Jane Watson, while also trying to juggle literally all of New York City's crime. One night, Peter shucks his great responsibility to see Watson perform in a play, but while on his way there, his lady-slaying scooter gets run down in a high-speed car chase.

Columbia Pictures

Parker chases down the car as Spider-Man, while the inexplicably inept police take turns crashing their vehicles and flipping into bystanders. After preventing a few pedestrian deaths, Parker finally subdues the two gun-toting criminals. Unfortunately, he's now running late. To save time, he suspends the criminals from a streetlight and drives their car to the theater -- the same car that is serious, important evidence in an ongoing crime.

When he arrives and parks in a tow-away zone, a nearby officer threatens to seize the suspicious-looking vehicle. Parker wasn't planning to keep it, so he shrugs it off. Peter just gave that officer some extra motivation to run the car's plate number and, were that to happen, the cop would discover that it was literally just involved in a high-speed chase with shots fired in downtown Manhattan, including the destruction of multiple police cars.

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

Then Peter would have two options: lie about driving the car during the chase and plead guilt to a litany of crimes, or admit to being Spider-Man and plead guilty of a litany of crimes. Saving five minutes risked Peter's anonymity and the safety of his loved ones, plus hugely inconvenienced the very police force he's trying to help. But then again, it was a pretty sweet car. Who are we to judge?

4

Clark Kent Publicly Annihilates A Semi-Truck, Risking Everything To Show A Dude Up

In Man Of Steel, Clark Kent works at a truck stop, pre-journalism career. There, he stops an asshole trucker from sexually harassing a waitress. Then this happens:

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures

3

Daredevil Brazenly Assaults A Passing Woman In A Public Park

In 2003's Daredevil, Matt Murdock is interested in Elektra and, after having his advances rebuffed, follows her to a park and asks for her name. She makes it clear that she finds this uncomfortable, and then this happens:

20th Century Fox

2

Blade Assaults, Detains, And Brandishes A Gun At A Police Officer In Broad Daylight

Blade is about a half-vampire who hunts down blood suckers with kickass gadgets and an exploding samurai sword. At one point his love interest Karen survives a vampire attack and heads back to her apartment, where she's met by a police officer who works for the villain. He tries to murder Karen, but Blade fucks him up. Now, it's shady enough that he has to interrogate the officer for information in the privacy of Karen's apartment. But instead, Blade inexplicably takes his "I'm-worse-than-anything-at-Gitmo" interrogation techniques outside.

New Line Cinema

He assaults a uniformed police officer in broad daylight while obviously armed to the teeth, to the complete uninterest of every passing New Yorker. Blade is so comfortable with committing felonies that he doesn't even bother hiding the officer's badge. When the guy refuses to talk, Blade pulls out a gigantic pistol. Karen, valuing human life, tries to stop Blade from blowing his brains all over New York's already disgusting sidewalks, and the bad guy escapes during the distraction. Blade, now inconvenienced, does this:

New Line Cinema

New Line Cinema

1

No Superhero Follows FAA Regulations Designed To Save Lives

Air traffic control (ATC) is brought to you by the Federal Aviation Administration, a government agency with one very important job: enforcing a host of regulations designed to prevent mid-air collisions. The FAA usually does a good job, but superheroes make safe skies impossible. Birds damage planes -- just ask Tom Hanks. Erratic humans decked out in armor would annihilate them.

Marvel Studios