The news outlets are the Tamagotchis of the new millennium. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with the constant barrage of headlines while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

HBO has plans for Game Of Thrones spin-offs

North Korea, without evidence, claim US tried to assassinate leader Kim Jong-Un

Source: BBC

Facebook apologizes for targeting emotionally vulnerable teens with advertising

Bill Shine leaves Fox News, Sean Hannity rumored to follow

Edward Crawford, famous from Ferguson protest photo, found dead

Source: Reuters

Macron defeats Le Pen in French election landslide

Source: CNN

Trump says Civil War could have been worked out in strange interview

Source: The Hill

One dead, three injured, in UT-Austin stabbing

Source: Dallas News

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