Yeah, instead of letting foreign fans figure it out for themselves ("Hold on, is that tree guy still Groot?"), Diesel redubbed his line in a new language for each international version. The dedicated actor learned how to say "I am Groot" in Hungarian, Hindi, Czech, Polish, Spanish, Portuguese, Ukrainian, Mandarin, Japanese, French, Italian, Kazakh, German, Russian, and, you know, English. And he wasn't just mindlessly reading from a prompter, either -- even after the movie was finished, he was still able to remember several of his non-English lines when put on the spot by Jimmy Fallon.

To top it all off, Diesel was so dedicated to his craft he wore stilts during filming (and to the premiere, and on the set of Furious 7, for some reason) to better get in the headspace of his vertically enhanced character.

Marvel Studios

Meanwhile, Bradley Cooper (the voice of Rocket Raccoon) didn't even try to fight an alley cat over a half-eaten sandwich he found in a trash container. It's clear who was phoning it in.

As if that wasn't sad enough, the scene also reveals that Hodor knew how he was going to die his whole life. Because of the show's time-travel shenanigans, young Hodor (or as he was known at the time, Wylis) psychically witnessed his future self's final moments while hearing the other characters scream "Hold the door!" -- causing him to repeat that phrase over and over until it became "Hold door" and finally "Hodor." Hence his name and Groot-esque vocabulary.

This created unique problems for those adapting Game Of Thrones to other languages. See, "Hold the door" devolves perfectly into "Hodor" in English, but if other countries translated that phrase literally, it'd just sound like gibberish. That means for that for each international version, the producers needed to find a phrase that made sense with the action of the scene and still sounded kind of like "Hodor." Some managed to find convincing solutions ...

Sweden: "Shut the door!"

HBO

Italy: "Block the horde! The horde! The horde!"

HBO

... while others were a bit of a stretch.

France: "Don't let them get outside! Not outside! Not outside!"

HBO

Poland: "Hold the dead as long as you can!"

HBO

Anyone watching this episode in Poland probably wondered why a bunch of kids about to get murdered by monsters are taking the time to shout "Hold the dead for as long as you can!" when they could easily replace 88 percent of that sentence with "door." Meanwhile, it looks like fans in Latin America weren't thrilled with the version they got ("Leave it shut! Itshoot! Hoot! Hodor!"), judging from the number of dislikes on every YouTube clip of this scene.

Hey, at least they tried. The Hebrew and Czech translators clearly just didn't give a fuck:

Czech Republic: "Hurry into the mountains!"

HBO

Israel: "Hold the door!"

HBO

Captain France considers Daft Punk and The Fifth Element to be unmissable pop culture moments:

Marvel

And Mexican Cap wants to look into Chilean miners and Argentinian soccer players, because all the countries down there are basically the same thing.

Marvel

Incidentally, in Brazil, the good ol' Captain wants to look into a band called "the Assassin Boobies," and now so do we.

Marvel

And finally, we're not sure what the most bizarre mental image in the South Korean version is: Captain America watching the incest plot twist Oldboy, or playing Dance Dance Revolution.

Marvel

But Kubrick's weaponized OCD didn't stop there. Kubrick, it seems, thought the impact of the manuscript scene would be diminished if foreign viewers had to read a subtitle explaining what it says in all those pages (as opposed to, you know, reading the pages). On top of that, there's the repetitive phrase itself: "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy." While the words could certainly be translated into other languages, the saying itself only exists in English, so it would lose considerable context and meaning. But hey, who gives a shit about this one line of idiom in a two-and-a-half-hour film, right? Kubrick, of course.

Warner Bros.

Yep, as if making one version of the manuscript wasn't tedious enough, Kubrick had the pages redone at least four different times for the international versions of the movie -- each containing a real saying from that particular country. The German version got "Was du heute kannst besorgen, das verschiebe nicht auf morgen," or "Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today," which we like to think was a passive aggressive dig at the poor staffer developing carpal tunnel syndrome over this.

To be fair, the alternate pages do illustrate why this change was necessary after all, in that they sound weird as hell translated back to English. Spanish viewers got the baffling line "No por mucho madrugar amanece mas temprano" ("No matter how early you get up, you can't make the sun rise any sooner"), while the French saying was the Stuart Smilie-esque affirmation "Un Tiens vaut mieux que deux Tu l'auras" ("What you have is worth much more than what you will have"). The Italian version wins, however, reading "Il mattino ha l'oro in bocca," or "The morning has gold in its mouth." Of course it does, Italy. Of course it does.

Warner Bros.

In some countries, the animals were even voiced by local newscasters whose voices might sound familiar to kids. Zootopia's tale of tolerance and inclusivity was perfectly tailored to present children the world over with things instantly recognizable to their own culture ... which is kind of the opposite point of the movie, now that we think about it.

Anyway, as usual, Pixar takes this sort of thing to a whole other level. They don't just redo much of the onscreen text so it matches each country's language ...

Pixar

Pixar

... (Or at the very least change the letters to something more universal) ...

Pixar

Pixar

... But they'll even remake some visuals to alter elements of the plot. Riley from Inside Out may be a hockey fan in the U.S. version of the movie, but in other countries, she's some sort of maniac who actually likes soccer. Her least favorite food was also switched up in order to achieve maximum vomitude based on regional unprefrences. In Japan, for example, kids apparently don't hate broccoli, so Pixar grossed them out with bell peppers instead.

Pixar

Pixar

Hell, even Planes, which you've no doubt already forgotten existed, took the time to tailor one of the aircraft to feature the national colors of different countries:

Walt Disney

Luckily for Spielberg fans not familiar with American history, the director was considerate enough to provide moviegoers with a little cheat sheet -- most countries got an all-new introduction explaining the Civil War and its context through text and black-and-white images. Considering the alarming number of people who buy into the revisionist "It was about states' rights!" crap, we're starting to think they should have included this part in the U.S. version.

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

However, for the Japanese release, Spielberg went one step further. Perhaps convinced that Japanese audiences don't like stories told through words and pictures if they don't include 15 pages of superpowered men throwing energy balls at each other, Spielberg decided to appear on screen himself to give the country a brief crash course on U.S. history. OK, now we kind of want Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade to start with Spielberg going, "Whelp, the Jones boys really stepped in it this time ..."

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Carolyn's tweets are a travesty no matter where you are. Kelly's tweets are lost without translation.

For more ways famous movies are handled overseas, check out 5 Classic Movies With Way Better Insane Foreign Ripoffs and 9 Foreign Rip-Offs Cooler Than The Hollywood Originals.

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