Some weeks the news headlines are like the scarabs in a Brendan Fraser mummy movie. No reasonable person can be expected to stay on top of every update while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so)

Micheal Bay says there are plans for at least 14 more Transformers movies

Two people die in separate eating contest related choking accidents

Twitter sues the government after request for personal info of Alt-Immigration account

Kremlin bans meme of Putin as a gay clown

Truck crashes into Stockholm store killing 3 in possible terror attack

Don Rickles passes away

Marvel VP blames sales slump on minority characters

Trump launches missile strike on Syrian base

Source: CNN

Bullfighter gored in throat during first bullfight

Source: Reuters

Tesla Motors now worth more than Ford

Source: Bloomberg

Judge temporarily halts closure of Kentucky's last abortion clinic

Source: CNN

Mudslide in Columbia kills at least 210 people

Source: NBC News

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