The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/21/17)

Look, we get it. Just when you think you've got the news media matrix figured out, somebody reboots it. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).
Source: Coming Soon
Related: The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/2)
Source: Rolling Stone