Bang Moms, But NOT Dads: 5 Weird Lessons From Movies

Then films like Air Force One, Independence Day, and the bizarrely interchangeable Olympus Has Fallen / White House Down combo take it a step further, depicting the president as a gun-toting ass-kicker who's immune to the seductive charms of stupid "politics."

So What's The Deal?

Americans tend to see Congress as a bunch of old, out-of-touch white men deep in the pockets of special interests. We don't agree on much these days, but we do agree on how much we hate the people we elected to office. In real life, the American government is protected by a system of checks and balances that don't allow any one branch (or person) to completely take over. But an efficiently run bipartisan commission doesn't readily lend itself to shootouts with M16s or badass one-liners.

Americans hate their congressmen because they are, by definition, members of a large body that have to compromise to get things done. We don't want limitations or compromise; we want them to deliver on their campaign promise of making Taco Bell the national religion. All the backchannel dealings and political doublespeak isn't very heroic. We want to see a hero make a grand speech before shooting an undead fascist reptilian in the neck, and we don't want to see it get held up in committee.

On the flip side, there's nothing more horrifying than a younger woman with an old man. Every woman in a relationship with an older man is forced into it -- like in Beetlejuice, Lemony Snicket, or Mad Max: Fury Road. Or else they're a seriously screwed up and broken person, like in Adventureland, White Bird In A Blizzard, and American Beauty. If a young woman is involved with an older man, there's sure to be some kind of problem in the relationship, and it's a big deal and a huge driver in the plot of that movie.

So What's The Deal?

In the real world, it's older men who most frequently date and take advantage of younger women. In many cultures, women are valued primarily for their youth and sex appeal. Sometimes the use of this trope can be an attempt to call out that paradigm, but often it ends up reinforcing it instead.

By suggesting that it's hilarious and ridiculous for an older woman to be into a younger man (or for a younger man to be attracted to her), they're still enforcing the idea that young men can and should sexually conquer whatever woman they feel like. When Fez and Kelso (falsely) believe Eric slept with Donna's mom in That 70s Show, they worship him like a god. That isn't exactly empowering Donna's mom.

Even when it's not played for laughs, older women dating young men is almost always a score for the man. Big, 17 Again, and Blank Check all involve minors winning the affection of women at least 15 years their senior. Despite the statutory rapiness of these relationships, we as the audience are led to believe that everything is cool, because women couldn't possibly take advantage of men. That's something only creepy old men do.

And with old men and underage women, it's still the same power dynamic, even though the ages are reversed. The older men are dominating young women, and while some movies do depict this as a bad thing, they still act like women are essentially powerless. No matter how you slice it, men are still the sexual instigators and hold all the power in these relationships, whether by forcing the young women to do what they want or seducing them with their irresistible, disturbingly boyish charm.

So What's The Deal?

The idea of hard-hearted, angry Bostonian men is somewhat grounded in reality. Most of those characters are supposed to be "Southies" -- that is, residents of the predominantly Irish neighborhood in South Boston. That's always been a tough place, and was home to some big-time criminals (like Whitey Bulger, depicted by Johnny Depp in Black Mass) back in the '70s and '80s. Now throw in hundreds of sexually abusive priests who primarily targeted young boys, and you've got entire generations of men growing up terrified of showing weakness.

But obviously, there's more to Bostonians than deeply rooted anger and a funny way of saying "chowder." Not everybody from Boston is a white Irish Southie. Uh ... coming back to Casey Affleck: "I've run into people who say, 'I know what you're like: You're a Boston guy ...' That's so weird. This person who doesn't know anything about me thinks they know a lot because of the city I grew up in, which to me is a meaningless label. There are all kinds of people from Boston."

Contrary to popular belief, Boston is only 54 percent white, and only 32 percent angsty. Boston has a rich multicultural history, and there's no reason for movies to ignore that just because it also sometimes beats that multicultural history with a stick.

So What's The Deal?

"But there are examples of heroes having prosthetics," you scream at your phone, drawing odd looks from the other bus passengers. "Ever heard of Luke Skywalker?" There's a difference: He can "pass." Luke's hand looks and functions as normal, no matter how close you get, whereas Vader has that weird harmonica set-up when they take off his helmet.

Screenwriters think they're saving time by showing us a character's inner evil. Missing a chunk of arm is analogous to missing part of their humanity. That's why half the Bond villains replace body parts with weapons and every pirate captain is missing a leg. It's an easy way to tell the audience "Hey, this one-limbed dude is evil. You can tell, because he doesn't have a as many limbs as he should."

The problem is that by repeating this trope so frequently, it starts to feel like Hollywood actually has some kind of issue with handicapped people. And sure, some people with prosthetic limbs are probably housing some sort of ion cannon in there, but not all of them, certainly.

Jordan Breeding has a blog, a band, and is prejudiced against PG-13 thrillers. It's his cross to bear.

Also check out 6 Absurd Action Tropes You Never Noticed And Can't Unsee and 12 Specific Scenes That Superhero Movies Have Perfected.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 6 Bizarrely Specific Scenes Hollywood Won't Quit Using, and other videos you won't see on the site!

Follow us on Facebook, and we'll follow you everywhere.