The weekly news cycle is like a giant box of Conversation Hearts -- some of it makes sense, but the rest is indecipherable garbage. And too much of it makes you sick. As our Valentine to you, we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).
Bawitdaba, pass the green beans.
It's hard out there for millionaire purveyors of garbage pizza.