5 Villains Who Stopped Trying Mid-Movie

5

Ultron Forgets That He's Basically Software

Ultron is a powerful AI-turned-robot-overlord inside an invincible shell. And since he can hack anything and jump into any system, he's basically impossible to get rid of. He has all the powers of the world's best robot and all the tenacity of the internet's dumbest meme.

"FOOLS. YOU CANNOT KILL ME. I HAVE THE SPEED OF #WhenDoesJustineLand! THE ENDURANCE OF #Pizzagate!"

And yet the Avengers take down this limitless digital enemy with ... punching. Wait, shouldn't "software" be able to stand up to a really well-aimed arrow, or even the best-thrown shield? If Ultron had remembered to use even 10 percent of his powers, he could have wiped out the Avengers at the start of Act II. See, his first move is to take over the Iron Legion -- Tony Stark's army of autonomous Iron Man suits. He also destroys Jarvis, Iron Man's state-of-the-art AI system. So later, when Ultron is straight-up fighting Iron Man in his suit -- which Jarvis was shown to have full control of -- why doesn't Ultron ... you know, hack him too? In any other movie, a rogue AI is an immediate global apocalypse. In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, it's a snarky robot ... making a town float into the sky?

Iron Man is distracted right there! Turn his suit off!

Did he scour the internet for evil plan suggestions and pick the most sarcastic one?

When they finally "kill" Ultron, it's mentioned that Vision has blocked him from the web so he can't send his consciousness out. But during his town-floating rampage, he had access to countless storage spaces on which to upload a copy of himself. Saving your work is something a 60-year-old divorcee learns on their first day of typing class; one would imagine the smartest thing on the planet could manage that level of redundancy. For a guy who loved bragging about being everywhere and limitless, it seems like he's quite limited, and pretty much ... right there.

Why does a robot need to sit?

4

Loki, Master of Illusions, Forgets What He's Master Of

Loki is the main villain in two of the most popular films in the history of man, so you're probably familiar with him. He's the Norse god of mischief, a being who mostly uses his magic powers to trick and manipulate the world around him. Since he's a wizard, a god, and a comic book character, those powers consist of "whatever we feel like making up at the time." But he always has one base power: illusions.

3

Apocalypse Has Every Mutant Power, And Uses None Of Them

Apocalypse is Batman's utility belt in mutant form. He has every fucking power. He can annihilate his foes 70 different ways -- 71 if he's not wearing pants at the time. Maybe he crushes you into a ball with his mind, or maybe he makes you his psychic slave. Or you know what? Fuck you, buddy, you're getting decapitated with ... sand powers?

Or whatever this was ...

And yet he somehow forgets all of them in time for the final battle. The X-Men fly in to stop him, and instead of waving his hand and turning their bones into hot sauce or something, he sends his four horsemen in to load up the film's 20th unskippable video game cutscene. It's almost like Apocalypse didn't care about taking over the world at all, and only wanted to create jobs for Eastern European visual effects artists.

2

Doomsday Forgets To Obliterate Things With His Obliterating Eye Lasers

In the comics, Doomsday was a violent rage monster who managed to kill Superman. This mainly happened because Superman forgot about all of his powers and went toe-to-toe with him in a street fight. In order for Doomsday to win that fight, a man with flight, heat vision, freezing breath, super speed, super ventriloquism, and friggin' time travel had to consciously decide to punch a monster covered in spikes. Well, in Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice, those tables are turned.

1

Dormammu Forgets About All The Benefits Of Being A God

Dormammu, an all-powerful cosmic being that consumes entire universes, is the final villain in the latest Marvel movie, Dr. Strange. He's painted as a timeless, invincible force of evil that gives his followers great power and eternal life, with the stipulation that their eye makeup will always run. Dormammu is basically unbeatable, even by the loosey-goosey rules of a comic book sorcerer movie. And yet Dr. Strange finds a way, all with a simple trick. It works like this:

"Dormammu! I've come to annoy you into submission."

Dormammu is timeless -- not just immortal, but literally without time. He never touches the stuff. Dr. Strange has a magical artifact that allows him to manipulate time. You see where this is going. Dr. Strange locks both himself and Dormammu in a time loop, and refuses to end it until the latter promises to leave Earth alone. Sure, Dormammu could kill Dr. Strange over and over and over -- and he does! -- but that grasshopper-faced Cumberbitch keeps coming back to life. And all through the loop, both parties carry their awareness forward. It's Groundhog Day rules.