Thankfully, the Speaker Blanket has you covered. Instead of plugging a pair of headphones into your iPhone and listening to your favorite tunes privately, you can shove a pair of AA batteries into a blanket, connect your music player to that blanket, and force everyone around you to suffer through the playlist you created for this very occasion. And hopefully the family next to you won't have the exact same blanket. If they do, the Amazon reviews suggest one of you won't be listening for long, because the speaker-in-blanket technology isn't all that great and your speakers will probably break before the picnic basket is unpacked.
A Diaper That Tells Your Phone When It's Soiled
Up until now, if your baby made a mess in their diaper, the only way for you to tell was by doing literally anything -- listening for the child crying, checking the color-change part of the diaper, or getting close and seeing if your baby smells like the dark prince Satan made flesh. However, by developing a thin plastic circuit that can detect changes in diaper wetness, researchers believe they've found a better way. These researchers are wrong.
University of Tokyo
"In the future, babies will poop on computer chips" was a prediction nobody had.
Unveiled by Japanese scientists in early 2014, the highly flexible device can be manufactured for only a few cents and is capable of detecting moisture, temperature, pressure, and more. These could be used to easily detect leaking pipes, determine if food is spoiling, or observe a hospital patient's medical condition. Instead, the researchers decided that they should have baby poop all over it. Yellow, mustardy baby poo.
The device can send a signal to your phone when the diaper has been Jackson Pollocked, which is a bit easier than removing the child's pants (or the elderly patient's pants) to check if the diaper has changed color. However, when the devices were unveiled in February 2014, they could only project a signal a few inches, which means you would have to hover your phone around your baby's tush like you're trying to take incredibly illegal pictures. Plus, nobody wants to take the time to sync their phone to a diaper before putting it on a baby.
Or do they?
Update: No, they don't.
A Smart Carton To Tell You When Eggs Are Bad
We all love eggs, but we also can all agree that eggs need to be whinier. Wouldn't it be great if your eggs could text you if they were getting bent out of shape? Well now your dreams can come true, thanks to the Quirky Egg Minder.
Life hack: If a product or person has "quirky" in their title, run.