Even the wimpiest among us has a secret badass moment no one knows about. Maybe you confronted a group of Neo-Nazis about littering in the park, or you bravely ate some chocolate off the floor before your dog could get it. Sure, characters like Batman or Luke Cage are admired by millions, but aren't the real badasses the ones who toughen up when no one is looking?
Well, here's some bad news for your self-esteem: Those awesome pop culture icons have secret badass moments of their own, and they make yours look like shit. Here are six little-known displays of ass-kickery that should get their own damn movies.
Darth Vader Is A Stone-Cold, Mic-Dropping Death Machine
Darth Vader is a badass moment. It doesn't matter whether he's choking dudes using space magic, interrupting dinner parties or escorting elderly people to the lavatory -- it's all the same. He's half-man, half-ventilator, all epitome of the phrase "son of a bitch."
What you probably didn't know, however, is that Vader is secretly snarky as hell. In Darth Vader Annual #1, he's sent on a diplomatic mission to a planet that's having trouble deciding whether to side with the Empire or the Rebel Alliance (if you think that's a clear choice, you must live in October 2016). He's met on arrival by a local princess, Trios, and almost immediately makes his presence known by telekinetically body-slamming someone who gets a little too forceful with his insistence that Lord Vader hit the dance floor at his welcoming ceremony.
Wait, so the breakdancing Vader at Disney World isn't canon?!
Vader and Trios then wind up caught in a trap to kill them with lava, as if one of those people wasn't powered by lava. This only makes Vader angrier -- something that he makes all too clear when he lightsabers a hole in the wall, knocks out Trios, and floats down a lava river carrying her unconscious body.
"Oh shit, this reminds me I didn't call Obi's ghost for his birthday ..."
When Trios reawakens, she discovers that Vader had her entire family wiped out (they're the ones who set the trap), and also, surprise! He has a gift for her, the new ruler:
Pictured: Princess Leia's kryptonite.
It's a piece of Alderaan, the planet we all saw get death-lasered in the first Star Wars movie. Yes, he was carrying that with him the entire time. Most villains would have settled for a curt "Alderaan, just sayin'," but not Vader. He's the one who flies into the debris field of a destroyed planet, scoops himself up some souvenirs, and dishes them out like the geological equivalent of that horse's head from The Godfather.