Let's retrace our steps to see where this plan may have gone off the rails. The Rebels were trying to prevent the aliens from hitting puberty, so they had a sexy, half-naked woman sing a seductive song to them? The only way that could work is if the author had no idea what puberty was. Wait a minute ... no experience with puberty, telepathic pink rabbits ... aliens that are just Ewoks and Hulks smashed together? The Star Wars Expanded Universe was written by 9-year-olds! It explains everything!
Horse Pilot Gets Put Down
From: The Novels
Hohass "Runt" Ekwesh was a member of Wedge Antilles' Wraith Squadron throughout the Expanded Universe. As if you didn't know, Runt is a Thakwaash, which is a race of sentient horse-faced men. They look like something you'd patch together if you had parts left over after making a centaur. Like most Thakwaash, Runt had split personalities. His reverse centaur people called these different "minds" and acted like several specialists inside one brain. So you get it -- he's got a stupid animal head, a mental disorder, and an X-wing -- he's the perfect Star Wars character.
LucasfilmAccording to Wookieepedia, he is 2 meters tall and dead.
Almost 30 years after the Battle of Yavin, Runt and Wraith Squadron found themselves in a dangerous war with aliens from another galaxy called the Yuuzhan Vong. They used living organisms to mimic technology, which meant everything they had was alive -- their ships, their weapons, even their clothes.
LucasfilmAccording to Wookieepedia, they are 1.8 meters tall and their underpants are sentient.
On a deadly space mission, Runt and his co-pilot got cornered by several Vong. The Vong wield living snake monsters as weapons, which sounds unpleasant to humans but is especially terrifying when you're mostly horse. Runt never had a chance, and he ended up getting poisoned.
When our Earth horses are bitten by a snake, the traditional treatment is shooting them in the head. Spoiler alert: It's no different in space. Runt's co-pilot, who is such a monster that we won't even link to his race on Wookieepedia, could not watch his horse-headed partner suffer. So in this universe of wonder, where sorcerers block lasers with their hands and chess is played in full-color holograms, he decided the only cure for poison was putting a blaster under Runt's chin and blowing all his multiple personalities out the top of his horse skull. A fitting end for a noble steed.
Lucasfilm*Goodnight, sweet filly*
Jordan Breeding is a part-time writer, a full-time lover, and an all-the-time guitarist. Check out his band at skywardband.com or on Spotify here.
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