Adapted from a novel written by the author of Lambs, Thomas Harris, Hannibal Rising replaces the gritty realism of the earlier books with something that feels a little more like a draft of Batman Begins written by Quentin Tarantino. The movie opens with Hannibal as a little tyke fleeing the Nazis. Hannibal's the hero of this book, you see, and if you want people to root for a cannibalistic serial killer, you really have no choice but to surround them with Nazis.
They kill and eat his sister too, in case you forgot Nazis are bad.
After a brief flashforward, we find Hannibal living with his widowed aunt in France, who is teaching him the ways of the samurai.
Such a standard French cliche.
It turns out it's these lessons are at the root of most of the bad ideas Hannibal will have, such as his predilection for butchery and serving heads on platters. And if that's too subtle for you, check out this chance encounter with what is apparently a samurai mask.
Just like his cannibal mask. Get it? CAN YOU GET IT HARDER?