It's getting so you can't check the news without your smart phone bursting into flames. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline without jeopardizing their sanity and safety, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

Clinton battles pneumonia while Trump refuses to disclose his health records

David Cameron to resign from Parliament

Margot Robbie is coproducing a Harley Quinn spinoff

Forces are preparing to liberate Mosul from ISIS

Man drives car into three police officers

Russia has banned PornHub and YouPorn

Samsung recall costs the company 26 billion

Adblock is now selling ads

B1 bombers do a South Korea flyover

Apple iOS update causes phones to brick

Catfish falls from the sky and hits a woman in the face

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