Look, we get it. Those Gilmore Girls aren't going to binge-watch themselves. Besides, even people who aren't spending every waking moment in Stars Hollow can't be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

Democratic Convention places Hillary Clinton in the lead

Source: ABC News

Production company pleads guilty in injuries to Harrison Ford caused by Millennium Falcon hydraulics

Lottery winner invests in crystal meth and firearms

Oprah will play Mrs. Which in A Wrinkle In Time

Source: UPI

Veteran cast members fired from Sesame Street

58 stung by stingrays in Coronado California

Skydiver jumps 25000 feet without a parachute

Source: AP, CNN, AOL

VH1 Classic relaunced as MTV Classic

Priest killed in knife attack in French church

Insecticides may be making honeybees infertile

Deadly attack in Japanese disabled facility

Source: CNN

Ice Bucket Challenge funding leads to ALS discovery

Source: ABC News

Suicide bombings in Kabul Afghanistan kill 80

Source: The Philadelphia Tribune, The Guardian

<- PREVIOUS WEEK

What's The Best Fictional School To Attend? In the muggle world, we're not given the opportunity for a magical hat to tell us which school we should go to. Usually we just have to go to the high school closest to where we live or whatever college accepts our SAT scores and personal essay. This month, our goal is to determine what would be the best fictional school to go to. Join Jack, Daniel, and the rest of the Cracked staff, along with comedians Brandie Posey and Steven Wilber, as they figure out if it's a realistic school like Degrassi or West Beverly High, or an institution from a fantasy world like Hogwarts with its ghosts and dementors, or Bayside High, haunted by a monster known only to humans as Screech. Get your tickets here!

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