5 Problems Superheroes Would Have (Movies Don't Address)

But while their returns from the Great Beyond were joyous occasions in the comics, in the real world, they'd cause total anarchy. Proving someone's death would become the biggest hassle ever. Every time you'd try to cancel your dead grandma's phone service or credit cards, Comcast or VISA would be all, "Yeah, but what if she was a Kryptonian or a super soldier, and will resurrect soon? Let's give it a few more months before we do something crazy, like stop billing her."

In superhero universes, death is probably treated like workplace injury -- everyone assumes you're faking it, and almost certainly hires investigators to catch alleged corpses coming back to life. In Netflix's Daredevil, there even exists a cult of ninjas with the ability to bring people back from the dead. Are they alive? Are they dead? Do they still owe Columbia House money?! That's something we'd need to figure out, and fast.

All of our existing contracts would have to be torn up and rewritten completely. On the plus side, newlyweds would get to say, "'Til death do us part ... barring one of us being an alien, or the work of occult ninjas."

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According to people with way more time and brains than us, the damage caused to New York in the first Avengers movie was around $160 billion. What's really depressing about that number, though, is that roughly zero percent of it would be covered by anyone's insurance.

Some policies may insure limited "Acts of God," but that really only covers Thor's mis-thrown hammers. And even if someone wanted to argue that the Chitauri invasion was a terrorist attack, then that still wouldn't mean shit, because casualty and property insurance almost never cover terrorism. That all would have to change after the first real-life supervillain massacre.

In a matter of days, super insurance would hit the market, and all of us would be required to buy it. We're not only talking about ordinary citizens; we also mean companies, schools, and restaurants all having to pay huge money to cover their asses in case of another alien invasion or a killer robot suplexing downtown.

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But ... couldn't literally every criminal out there make the exact same claim? They could and most likely would, because our legal system cannot find anyone criminally liable without the intent to commit a crime, which you can't have with mind control in play.

At the end of Jessica Jones, Double-J has proven the existence of superpowered individuals who can control our actions, while another Marvel series, Agents of SHIELD, has put mind control on the government's radar with the introduction of Hive. So now, "mind control" should logically be a very popular legal defense in the Marvel universe.

Between Marvel and DC, their comics feature more than 1,300 telepaths. So until tests for mind control are developed, every criminal is off the hook as long as they play that card in court. Killed your spouse? "David Tennant made me do it." Drive drunk? "Must have been Hive." Domestic terrorism? "Clearly it was the work of ... Emma ... Frost?"

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The world already has a big market for disturbing celebrity souvenirs, including things like Britney Spears' used pregnancy test or Gary Coleman's sweatpants. Every superhuman conflict would see a surging black market for mementos -- stray pieces of Iron Man's armor, errant batarangs, alien bits. We see brawls over home run baseballs, so imagine what people would do to get, say, a severed Chitauri dong.

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