Everyone who has ever worked in an office knows that it's best to avoid discussing controversial subjects with your colleagues, or else risk getting your inbox flooded by a bunch of poorly researched emails about child vaccination from Janice down in Accounting. Still, regardless of whether you believe climate change exists or not, you'd think it would be something to occasionally bring up when protecting the environment is in your job description. Unless you're in the Florida government, because in Florida, every day is Opposite Day.
The Environmental Protection Agency's entire purpose is to create laws to protect human health and the environment. Their branch in Florida, however, is currently not allowed to mention climate change in any of their communications. The department took a big right turn under their latest governor Rick Scott, a man who looks and acts like a robot wearing its former master's skin. When the Republican became governor in 2011, he installed a new Department of Environmental Protection director, and soon thereafter new orders started circulating instructing all employees to stop going on about this dubious theory of climate change. Phrases like "climate change" and "global warming" were strictly erased from their lexicon, as if saying them three times in a row would summon a crazed Al Gore wielding a solar-powered chainsaw.
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"That Rick Scott is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with.
It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until we are all drowned."