The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/17)

The news media is primarily a delivery system for anxiety and impotent rage. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).
Source: New York Times
Related: 3 Terrible Comedy Sequels (And 3 That Got It Right)
Source: IB Times
Related: The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/2)
Source: NBC News