We can describe this film in only 14 words: In Uganda, war has hit the streets. f**k THAT, says The Ugandan Expendables. And since we have one word left over, underline that "f**k."
It is wall-to-wall karate and machine guns and has virtually no interest in linking events together with a narrative. You'll never know how unnecessary structure is until you've seen 500 Ugandan actors explode from inexplicable violence punctuated by trial version Adobe After Effects bullets.
This is just the caterer.
There is no language barrier in Ugandan Expendables. In the time it takes for you, the casual English-speaking viewer, to think, "I don't speak Swahili," you've already missed 25 principal actors get kicked to death. This is a dense masterpiece made by passionate, industrious filmmakers. It's a genre so indescribable, they literally had to make up words to describe it. One of those words is "supa BASTARD."
Real Talk: The action is supa BASTARD as s**t.