Martha, being the only original one in the household, dresses as a fairy queen. Post-ball, Joker murders the Waynes (pissing off all 12 members of the Joe Chill Fan Club), and we're off to the brooding vigilante-making races. The "payoff" to this whole thing was to come when Bruce attends a showing of A Midsummer Night's Dream years later starring Silver St. Cloud, his sidepiece for when Vicki Vale was off on assignment. She's dressed almost exactly like Martha Wayne was at the costume ball, and boy does that make Bruce's little devil dance in the pale moonlight:
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
So ... does Bruce like St. Cloud only when she's dressed like his mom? Do they roleplay the murder in bed? It's better than making her dress up in a green thong and pixie boots, we guess.
The "make Batman sexy in the unsexiest ways imaginable" tour continued when Joel Schumacher took over for Batman Forever. For whatever reason, he hired H.R. Giger -- the man who gave us both the Xenomorph and sleepless nights where every shadow is suddenly the Xenomorph -- to create a new Batmobile. What he dreamed up is pure Giger, in that Batman is now driving a giant, mutated vagina.
You could ask him to draw a square and it'd still somehow come off looking like genitalia.
Oh, Giger can claim he had scissors in mind, or that the four legs are necessary for the four Gatling guns Bruce suddenly owns, but ... no. That's totally a vagina monster Bruce is supposed to chase Two-Face and The Riddler in. Maybe it's Martha's vagina. He already wants to ride her in one sense, after all.
But all this is nothing compared to Schumacher's indefensibly bonkers idea for the sequel, where Batman and his teenage sidekick would wear skin-tight armor with deep ass cracks, humongous codpieces, and permanently erect nipples. Thank God that never happened.
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