And then, at the very end of the last cartoon, McCracken included three seconds of little Joe about to stick his littler Joe in three naked girls. But why? Was he checking to see if his classmates were still paying attention? If so, we guarantee that none of those students realized they were being trolled by the guy behind their future daughters' backpacks.

DNA Productions
"Wanna see where all that neck fat went, ladies?"

No Neck Joe was picked up by Spike & Mike's Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation, which funded McCracken's next project, a superhero parody called The Whoopass Girls. That short is what got him his own Cartoon Network show, presumably after signing a clause specifying that he wouldn't try to sneak any tiny mutant orgies into it.

Boys Night Out plays pretty much how you'd expect. Little Lindberg is left with his stepfather while his mother goes to Bible study. The stepdad then dresses him as a homeless man with lupus so they can go get boners together.

Barley Films
That hat being his father's rancid stretched-out sock is somehow the least disturbing part of this story.

From there we're treated to some very non-Disney images, while Lindberg looks equally confused and horrified:

Barley Films

Barley Films

Barley Films
"Wait, they get paid when they get a spanking? You and mom have been ripping me off!"

At one point, the stepdad orders "Honolulu Hardons" for him and the kid, which are thankfully just alcoholic beverages. We never thought we'd be thankful for "just" drunken babies. Lindberg then runs into his priest, who has some very specific fetishes.

Barley Films
He could live to be 100 and not utter enough Hail Mary's to make up for "humped a sexy crucifix."

Right when things couldn't get any worse for the kid, there's a plot twist: One of the dancers is Lindberg's own mother, a revelation that utterly breaks his poor psyche.

Barley Films

Barley Films
Looking at her child the same way she looks at a guy with a thousand bucks and an empty lap didn't help, either.

To be fair, Pixar can't say they didn't know what they were getting into when they hired this guy, since he first got their attention by drawing pun-errific Toy Story Rule 34:

O'Plenty Animation Studio (NSFW)
It was either this or "Who wants some Mrs. Potato HEAD?"

While Don Jurwich did work on some beloved franchises like G.I. Joe and The Smurfs, his bread and butter was stuff like Scooby's Laff-a-Lympics, Yogi's Space Race, and Tom And Jerry Kids.

Warner Brothers Television Distribution
A close second to Lord Of The Flies in the "babies trying to kill each other" department.

So he wasn't exactly working on A-list material. Maybe that's because he was also the writer, director, producer, and probably the caterer for the animated film Once Upon A Girl, which was about ... well, this shot sums it up neatly:

Severin Films
Or rather, these many, many, super-sticky shots.

It's the classic fairy tale you all know and love: Mother Goose gets put on trial for obscenity charges after telling the "true" (read: horny) versions of her fairy tales. The twist was that this was actually released in theaters and not gas station bargain bins, because Watergate had just happened and America needed healing, dammit.

According to the official DVD description, the various segments answer age-old questions like "Where did Jack really stick his magic beanstalk?" and "Who truly tried to eat Little Red Riding Hood?" A better one would be, "The fuck is wrong with you people?"

Severin Films
Also, is that a see-through dress, or is Joel Schumacher her stylist?

Most of the voices were done by cartoon veteran Frank Welker, which is insane, but also fortunate if you ever wanted to know what Megatron and Freddy from Scooby Doo sound like having sex. If poorly-drawn animated porn isn't your thing, Once Upon A Girl also has live-action segments starring Hal Smith from The Andy Griffith Show in a dress. And of course, the film ends with a full-on orgy erupting in the courtroom, as Smith sits there wondering what the fuck happened to his career.

Severin Films
He's come a long way from those Davey And Goliath shorts.

The movie flopped, but shockingly, it did not get Swenson banned from the industry forever. He went on to write An American Tail: Fievel Goes West, became the creative director of Rugrats, and created Cartoon Network's Mike, Lu & Ogg. The lesson here, if you're paying attention, is that duck erotica pays off in the long run. So stick with your dream!

Tijuana Bibles were pornographic comic strips that first gained traction in the 1920s -- a difficult time when smutty material, much like paying jobs and food, wasn't exactly easy to find. Enter artists like Morse, armed with only pens and bad taste, to provide a service audiences clamored for. These comics were just as unfunny as his Bazooka Joe work, but with serious bonus racism!

Wesley Morse (NSFW)
The only reason she didn't bang a gong after every orgasm is that Morse ran out of drawing space.

Morse drew over 60 smut strips, according to his official site. And the fact that he was the only Tijuana Bible artist who didn't bother hiding his identity put him on the map. That's how he scored his lifetime Bazooka Joe gig. Once again, we learn that shame simply doesn't pay.

Colleen Coover wrote for Adventure Time and Pet Avengers (exactly what it sounds like), and has drawn tons of all-ages Marvel comics starring Spider-Man, the X-Men, and more. You'll recognize her art style by how impossibly cute it is.

Marvel Comics
She watches the Adam West Batman and gets sad that it never learned to lighten up and have fun.

You know where this is going. Before all of this mainstream success, Coover used her cute art style to draw girls fucking the shit out of each other.

Eros Comix
That escalated quickly.

In Coover's own words, "Funny, romantic, and very definitely erotic, Small Favors tells the story of Annie and her sprite-like girlfriend Nibbil filling their happy days with happy sex." And that's it. No cosmic threats or gritty angst -- nothing but fucking.

Eros Comix
Above: the entire plot of every issue

For those already opening a new tab to check Amazon: The comic is currently out of print, which means you can only buy used copies, and should probably handle them with gloves.

Eveready Harton In Buried Treasure, created circa 1928, is considered to be the world's first cartoon porn, and it was apparently made as a gag for one of the great innovators of animation. Disney animator Ward Kimball lists only some of the collaborators: Max Fleischer, creator of Betty Boop and the Popeye cartoons, Paul Terry, head of Terry Toons and Mighty Mouse, Walter Lantz, creator of Woody Woodpecker (appropriately), and Mutt And Jeff Studio, creators of ... Mutt And Jeff. Ask your grandparents.

Climax Fables
And then show them ten seconds of this and ask them, "Why?"

The story follows the titular Eveready Harton, a mustachioed gentleman whose hard-on is ever-ready. (Oh hey, we just got that!) He tries to fuck everything in his path, from a young lady to an old man to some farm animals. At one point, he gets into a duel with a farmer over the privilege to have sex with a seductive donkey. Guess what their weapons of choice are.

Climax Fables
Human cockfighting rings aren't at all what we thought they were.

After all his efforts to get laid are foiled, the short ends with a disheartened Eveready sticking his penis in a hole in a fence ... at which point a friendly cow sucks him off.

Climax Fables
So this is what's happening on the other side of the "That's all, folks!" card.

Matt Fazio is a writer/comedian who wants to be your friend. Follow him on Twitter or check out his YouTube channel.

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