Bad Guys Use Crazy Getaway Vehicles All The Time
Warner Brothers Pictures
In The Dark Knight, the Joker uses an empty school bus as a getaway vehicle, because the last thing the law would search for is missing children. In the real world, using something with six wheels as a getaway would be seen as terribly prosaic by the criminal class.
For example, it turns out dirt bikes are a popular option for the health-conscious villain. In Arizona, an 18-year-old not only successfully fled a traffic stop on his two-wheeler, but also popped a wheelie while doing so, to the shouts and cheers of kids in '80s Spielberg movies everywhere.
Though probably shuffling around in shackles and an orange jumpsuit after didn't make for the most inspiring of montages.
In Connecticut, a man tried to flee the scene of a crash on a bike, only to ride it straight into the side of a police cruiser, because he was a shitty driver on any mode of transport.
But ground escapes are for amateurs -- the high-rollers glide along the waterways of the world. Criminals frequently try to escape the authorities on boats, no doubt inspired by the gondola gangs of Venice. Drug traffickers are into speedboat getaways, Miami Vice-style. Back in 2000, three Florida coke smugglers hauled boat-ass past Marina police before parking at a sea wall and making a run for it through a subdivision. Two of them got away, probably by buying a house in the neighborhood. It was Florida before the mortgage crisis, after all.
Achim Prill/iStock/Getty Images
"Don't worry, the cops won't chase us. They've got a weekend coming up at our timeshare and they do not want to lose it."
Criminals in northern climates, on the other hand, prefer a slower pace. One pair of fugitives in Vermont were caught trying to get away in a rowboat, and north of the border, a man was caught red-canoed trying to paddle away from a robbery. "They were almost too cute to arrest," said a delighted officer, probably.
But none of these crimes can hold a candle to a gang of diamond thieves who took aquatic getaways to another level.
The most adorably insane level ever.