The news media knows that if you ever stop being terrified, they go bankrupt. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

Microsoft had to delete its Twitter-based chatbot when it became a sex-craving racist. tay.ai Intended to represent a millennial female, the TayTweets

The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/29)

AN ANTI-TRUMP PROTESTER IN KANSAS CITY WAS ARRESTED FOR HITTING A POLICE HORSE. Police were working crowd control outside a rally for the candidate wh

INDIANA BANNED ABORTIONS BASED ON FETAL ANOMALIES including Down syndrome and other disabilities. KEEP ABORTION ABORTION KILLS (EGAL CHILDREN Governor

The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/29)

A FORMER EXOTIC PET DEALER NAMED HIROSHI MOTOHASHI WAS ARRESTED FOR THROWING A 13-FOOT-LONG PYTHON AT CUSTOMERS INSIDE A SUSHI RESTAURANT IN STUDIO CI

LEGAL MARLJUANA SALES COULD REACH $23 BILLION ANNUALLY BY THE YEAR 2020. according to a forecast from a cannabis market research firm. 0ucnice CRYSTAL

The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/29)

All aboard RRS BOATY the AICBOATFACE. The Natural Environment Research Council in the UK has proposed to let the Internet choose the name of its new $

IT'S LIKE A SMORGASBORD OF UNDERPANTS. THAT'S HOW SARAH NATHAN DESCRIBES THE IMPRESSIVE COLLECTION OF AROUND 30 PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR AND 100 SOCKS THA

A MAN WAS ARRESTED FOR FAILING TO RETURN A 2002 VHS COPY OF FREDDY GOT FINGERED. James Meyers of Concord, North Carolina, had been pulled over for a n

The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/29)

PRESIDENT OBAMA MADE A HISTORIC TRIP TO CUBA AND MET WITH PRESIDENT RAUL CASTRO. IT WAS THE FIRST SUCH OFFICIAL CONTACT IN MORE THAN 50 YEARS. The dis

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