Indiana woman Angela Kipp lived through this precise nightmare in September 2015. She was backing out of her driveway when she noticed a spider on her shoulder. We've all heard of mothers lifting cars off their infants with sudden, inhuman bursts of strength in times of crisis. Angela Kipp is ... not that kind of mother.
She made the outside-the-box choice to leap through the driver's side window, leaving her terrified young child in the vehicle as it rolled toward the street. To his credit, after watching his only source of clean laundry and waffles abandon him so fast it'd make an orphan flinch, the kid did manage to crawl from the back seat to the driver's seat and tried to slam his foot on the brake pedal. Just one problem: Nine-year-olds can't tell the difference between the brake and the accelerator. The car, still in reverse, sped backward into a school bus.
"Well, at least you know what not to do when you take driver's ed."
This is the part of parenthood no book prepares you for: watching your son roll into oncoming traffic while trapped in a car with a spider at the wheel.
Fortunately, no children were on the bus, no one was seriously injured, and no charges were filed. The spider, however, remains at large.