Burning at the stake is classically reserved for only the most evil of threats, such as witches, women we think are witches, or just women we don't like very much. And if it's good enough for witches, it's good enough for spiders. But it doesn't always work out the intended way. An unidentified Seattle man was in the laundry room of his house when he encountered irrevocable proof of an uncaring God: the spider. Instead of going, "Ah!" and then swatting at his hair for a few minutes, he quickly fashioned himself a makeshift blowtorch and, as the local news put it: "Firefighters say the man who rented the house was trying to kill a spider in the laundry room with a can of spray paint and a lighter. The flames quickly spread through the room and into the attic."
"Where'd he go?! SUPPRESSING FIRE!"
He called 911 and firefighters put the blaze out, but not before it caused $60,000 in damage to the house -- which wasn't even his house. We're sure the landlord was very understanding when he explained, "It almost touched me."
This "panic and then fire" approach to spider-problem-solving wasn't an isolated incident. In Michigan, a man was pumping gas when he spotted a lone spider on the roof of his car. He pulled out his lighter (sensible!) and managed to set the spider on fire -- along with his whole car and very nearly the gas station.