But you know who else likes bright lights and big noises? Folks who live in rural Florida. That's why one local loophole has been very lucrative for fireworks dealers in Panama City Beach. While your run-of-the-mill Fourth of July fireworks are technically banned within city limits, fireworks for "agricultural purposes" are still allowed.
"I need to protect my herb garden."
"You live in a high rise."
The problem is that the city never defined what those animal-bothering fireworks look like. So sellers are free to offer sparklers, Roman Candles, and Purple Passions to customers whenever they want. For some reason, they seem to do this around Independence Day, and not so much the rest of the year. We assume the rabbits are just especially hungry that weekend.
Hungry for freedom!
When buying fireworks, people have to sign a form stating that they are planning on using them on their farm. But since no one ever follows up and the form isn't legally binding, people LIE. It's scandalous, we know. Take a minute to recover from the shock. Then head to Panama City Beach and enjoy the firework displays -- probably the only nice thing about Florida.
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Did you know cats modeled their "meow" after the cries of human babies, just because they knew us humans care about that noise? Did you know dogs can read your mind (emotionally), and live in constant suspicion that you know where the good food is (you totally do)? In the next LIVE episode of the Cracked Podcast, host Jack O'Brien leads Cracked's team of pet-loving/fearing comedians through all the ways our dogs and cats are more powerful, creepy, and awesome than we ever could have imagined. Jack will be joined by Carmen Angelica, Dan O'Brien, Alex Schmidt, and Jake Weisman at the UCB Sunset Theatre on Wednesday, March 9, at 7 p.m. Purchase your tickets here!