Everyone must have known from the start that it would take a remarkable amount of work to pass off the artist formerly known as Marky Mark as a literature professor, and step one was for Wahlberg to drop 60 pounds of rippling-yet-aging Tiger Beat cover boy musculature from his famous physique. Step two, apparently, was to blow thousands of dollars of his friends' money.
Wahlberg did pretty well at blackjack while he was "preparing for the role" in a Chinese casino in Macau. It was at the roulette wheel that he proceeded to blow $45,000 in borrowed money by betting everything on black. Whose money was it, you might be wondering? Well, Wahlberg describes the rightful owners of the currency as "two very wealthy businessmen" he was with at the time, which could mean anything from Arab oil magnates to Slovakian Elite Hunting Club executives. And even though 45 grand might be a drop in the bucket in Wahlbergian terms, he himself admitted that his associates were rather displeased by his nonchalance in flushing the equivalent of a pre-owned Jaguar XJ down the toilet.
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He then went on to thank the reconstructive surgeon who successfully reattached this thumbs.
Joaquin Phoenix Adopted An Insane Public Persona For A Movie Nobody Watched
Hey, remember that "mockumentary" I'm Still Here with Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck? Yep, neither does anyone else. But you might recall that halcyon moment back in 2009 when Phoenix cultivated a full yeti beard, claimed he was giving up acting to become a rapper, and went on Late Night With David Letterman in full shambling hobo mode. But this behavior was not in fact due to the sudden mental collapse of an acclaimed actor. It turned out he was just fucking around. (Oops, "acting.")
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Maybe he was trying to pick up chicks by pretending he was Zach Galifianakis?
Yup, Phoenix told almost nobody that this whole shtick was him playing a character for I'm Still Here. And the role Phoenix was playing was ... himself. Sort of? Yeah, it wasn't a great movie.
"BROLIN. PHOENIX. TORGO. TWINS. 2017."
The movie was intended as a documentary of Phoenix's life, or rather an imaginary version of it, which explored the "nature of celebrity." And in it, you could watch the guy who played Johnny Cash in Walk The Line leave Hollywood behind to fall off the stage at a hip-hop show and generally behave like the genetic hybrid of Marlon Brando and a developmentally challenged fur trapper. Oh, and Phoenix inhabited this regrettable character for two years.
And if you dare think Phoenix was wasting his time in a big way, keep in mind that Casey Affleck also remained committed to this albatross of a project -- and went broke in the process -- at the exact time he should've been exploiting his own Oscar nomination for The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford. At the end of the day, I'm Still There racked in a paltry $500,000 -- which, when accounting for inflation, is roughly 3.5 Manos: Hands Of Fates.
"You mean that guy from the band Spacehog pretended to shit on me for nothing?"
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