"And even with one, Sarah's still a bit of a longshot. She's kind of an asshole."
Today, the three girls could have just gotten themselves a bunch of cats and gone on with their lives, but back then, it meant that they would have to get the only job available to unwed women at the time: prostitution. This sad state of affairs deeply moved St. Nicholas, a Greek bishop and the inspiration for Santa Claus, who heard about the family's plight.
Nicholas came to the man's house in the middle of the night with three pouches of gold, and looked through the window to see three pairs of stockings drying in front of the hearth. Unable to go through the locked door, he slid down the chimney and planted the gold in each whore-to-be's stocking. The next morning, the girls awoke to find that they didn't have to change their names to the 4th-century version of Trixxxie. This soon led to the custom of leaving out stockings for St. Nicholas to fill with gifts. And that's why Santa Claus yells "ho, ho, ho!"
Probably. Some things we have to assume.
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