The news is like a very confusing story written by a novelist who was trying to treat his chronic paranoia with cocaine. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)

a MISSOURI MAN TRIED TO PUT OUT A GARBAGE FIRE BY DRIUING OUER IT WITH A UAN FULL OF AMMUNITION. The results surprised no one (ofher than the man in q

Source: AP

20TH CENTURY FOX WON'T LET DIE HARD DIE: A JOHN MCCLANE ORIGIN STORY IS IN THE WORKS. Following in the footsteps of the upcoming Indiana Jones and Han

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)

Source: WTSP.com

A MICHIGAN WOMAN HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH SHOOTING AT SHOPLIFTERS IN A HOME DEPOT PARKING LOT. Two men fled the Clarkston area Home Depot with about $1,0

ACTOR RANDY QUAID WAS ARRESTED TRYING TO CROSS THE BORDER FROM CANADA TO THE U.S. After allegedly vandalizing a Santa Barbara home in 2010, Randy and

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)

FORMER NBA STAR LAMAR ODOM WAS FOUND UNCONSCIOUS AT ANEVADA BROTHEL. Odom had reportedly been partying for days and spent $75, o0o. Virtually every d

GRACKED C AN OLD PHOTO PURCHASED AT A FRESNO, CALIFORNIA, TUNK SHOP FOR $2 COULD BE WORTH $5 MOILLION. It nas been called the holy grail' of photogr

ANHEUSER-BUSCH INBEVAND SABMILLER HAVE PROPOSED A MERGER, POTENTIALLY FORMING THE WORLD'S LARGEST BREWER. The combined company would have $73.3 billio

Source: CBS News

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)

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