Nothing is as it seems. Except for pandas. They're big, dopey cosmic pranks, inside and out.

"While filming the scene in The Two Towers where an unconscious Aragorn is floating down the river, Viggo got caught in an undertow and nearly drowned due to the weight of his armor, barely escaping with his life."

"At least one fine arts columnist has gone on record saying that the Peruvians clearly 'revered sex as a powerful and holy life-giving force with spiritual connections.' All of that may certainly be true, but they also made teapots with giant dicks on them."

6 Insane Military Training Techniques Designed To Break You

Taiwanese Marine Corps trainees can graduate only after they've passed the heroically named "Road To Heaven." This basically involves doing a 20 minute performance of The Worm. Shirtless. Over a path of razor-sharp rocks.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 9/6

"It isn't all doom and gloom on the Road To Heaven, though. The trainees' families, wives, and children are all invited to come watch their squealing loved one scream bloody curses of forever hatred."

"Depp took to living in Thompson's basement, digging through his manuscripts, interrogating him about his life, and recording those conversations, presumably for personal reference and a sense that the recordings would later be subpoenaed as evidence."

We Hate Pandas: 6 Realities Of Life As A Zookeeper

Pandas are poorly-designed, shitty animals and the big cats love their horse meat - just a couple of the things we learned talking to a zookeeper.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 9/6

"Whenever a zoo gets a new panda bear, everybody goes nuts about it, including zookeepers. However, this honeymoon period lasts about a year, until the zookeepers realize just how infuriatingly useless pandas are."

5 Myths About Domestic Abuse Everyone Believes

Movies or public service announcements about domestic violence highlight bruises, broken bones, and black eyes -- maybe covered with makeup or flimsy excuses, to drive home how shameful victims find the experience. But none of that is what the victims find most devastating.

10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 9/6

"Sometimes the abuse is manipulation, like how Shannon's ex repeatedly told her he was going to kill himself."

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