You're Picturing Immigrant Crime All Wrong
America is like an exclusive nightclub, and other countries are the creepy guys sneaking in without paying, starting fights, and trying to get fresh with our girlfriends (and jobs). And by other countries, we mean mostly Mexico. As our leading comb-over-in-chief candidate has been all too happy to remind us, Mexico's chief U.S. export is apparently killers and rapists -- but, then again, with all the Game Of Thrones-esque shenanigans the cartels are pulling just south of the border, is it really that surprising that illegal immigrants bring crime with them?
Yes, yes it is, because first-generation immigrants (including illegal ones) are actually 45 percent less likely to commit a crime than our own home-grown hooligans. Border cities with higher rates of illegal immigration have lower crime rates than the national average, a trend that extends back well before we started beefing up border security. In fact, the more immigrants come to crash on Uncle Sam's couch, the more crime seems to drop.
"Fuck you guys, I'm going to deport Grimace now."
This applies to all nationalities, but "especially for Mexicans, Salvadorans, and Guatemalans." Of course, this isn't to say there aren't dangerous foreign gangs operating in America; they're just not coming from where you probably assumed. These days, organized crime is a much more diverse industry, with gangs coming from Russia, West Africa, and Armenia. And just like the transition from hereditary monarchy to democracy, gangs have realized that dividing things along blood lines is silly as hell. The new gangs actually operate very similarly to GTA Online, where the Russians might hook up with Somalians to do a job, split the loot, and then go do their own thing until the next heist comes around.
Pictured: "Their own thing," probably.