If you knocked your brother down, would you urinate in his mouth? That's the creative writing question posed by a New Hampshire high school English teacher, who wanted to shower her students with edgy topics that would make provocative thinking the golden standard in their education. "You're in a serious class, for real whiz kids," she presumably told her students.
Now that the applause has died down, we'd love to provide more context for the assignment in question, but there just isn't any. It wasn't related to any book the students were studying. It wasn't part of a larger allegorical theme about the love-hate relationship many people have with their family. They hadn't teamed up with the sex-toy teacher from above to write Flowers In The Attic fan fiction. It seems like the only element of creative education the teacher hoped to deliver with this creative writing assignment was to see how emphatically her students could say no.
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"And that's how many robots I'd rather fight."
The teacher had an otherwise spotless track record, leaving students and faculty alike equally baffled as to why she suddenly decided to ask her students about pissing in their siblings' faces. The school superintendent commented, "While on the one hand, I appreciate her interest in trying to get kids to write, there are other topics and there are more appropriate prompts that could create that same kind of interest." We have no idea what interest he could be referring to other than the "peeing on your brother or sister" interest, so we are therefore equally confounded by what a more appropriate prompt for that scenario would look like. Maybe "if your brother or sister's head were engulfed in flames, would you drown the smoking hellfire with a frothy stream of your own waste?"
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"Keep in mind, you're allowed to maniacally laugh your ass off the entire time."
The teacher's assignments are now being monitored, with officials hoping that "she continues to motivate her students in more appropriate ways." We're assuming her next thought-provoking prompt will read something like: "You're trapped in a room with no visible exit and only a small sliver of light streaming in from an unknown source. Would you take a sudden, violent shit all over your father's chest?"
You can read more from Mark, including all about the time he taught children to rob banks, at his website.
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Also check out 5 Things It Turns Out You Were Right To Hate About School and 4 Ways High School Makes You Hate Reading.