The world makes about as much sense as the plot of your average late-night Cinemax porno, one watched with the sound off so your Mom doesn't hear. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so):

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/21)

Source: NY Times

Contending that the punishment simply doesn't fit the crime, PRESIDENT OBAMA recently commuted the sentences of 46 nonviolent drug offenders He also

Source: AP

DUE TO LESS EXPENSIVE ANTIRETROVIRAL DRUGS... An HIV-positive person now has a life expectancy that is 19 YEARS LONGER than it was back in 2001. Howev

BERKELEY BREATHED'S BLOOM COUNTY COMIC STRIP IS RETURNING AFTER A Bill 25 Opus Milo Oliver YEAR Steve Michael HIATUS John Cutter Snorklewacker

A historic but controversial deal was made with Iran euFcltFIIEUhIRL to self-restrict its nuclear capabilites in exchange for the easing of economic s

Sources: Time, CNN

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, COAL IS NO LONGER AMERICA'S #1 SOURCE OF ELECTRICITY. However, don't get too excited by thinking that SOLAR OR WIND has final

Source: SNL.com

The gaming world is mourning the loss OF Nintendo President Nineando SATORU IWATA whose legacy includes both the NINTENDO DS and WiA, NENTINODS No suc

Source: CNN

As a result of pressure from Facebook and Firefox, F ADOBE FLASH PLAYER, A FORMERLY UNIVERSAL BUT DESPISED PART OF INTERNET BROWSING, IS FINALLY ON TH

Source: Wired

The wrongful-death case of Munl ERIC. GARNER, 1DY who died tragically after being placed in a choke- hold by Staten Island police in July of 2014, was

Source: NY Times

Ater traveling over 9 YEARS AND 3 BILLION MILES... NASA'S New Horizon spacecraft SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED a reconnaissance mission to Pluto with a tlyby

Source: CNN

Despite a plea of insanity, the man accused of the 2012 shooting attack inside a Colorado movie theater during a midnight premiere of THE DARK KNIGHT

Source: ABC News

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