These last few days we contemplated gross injustices and the crappy medical hands we've been dealt. Yet one cast-iron certainty brightened the gloom: Willie Nelson is still high.
Finally, The Rock can play a one-man army with hair. That he can comb really fast.
Notable Comment: "[Christopher Randolph] I can imagine the Rock go up to a honey now and say 'You look pretty...I look pretty...why don't we go home and stare at each other?'"
Let's start with the simple stuff, like pockets - then we'll move on to the harder stuff, like pay equality.
Gold Star Comment: "[Sam Wilson] To be fair, they do have 30% less money to hold."
It's in your pancake syrup, muffins, bagel bites - all sorts of sh!t. Oh, and another version might be in your attic, too - for insulation.
So, European Settlers did not defeat the Native Americans toe to toe. The path was pretty much cleared by The Stand. Check.
"Wait," you ask, "isn't diabetes that disease where you just can't eat sugar, and have to take insulin every once in a while?" Oh, if only it was that simple. For starters, you might be mixing up two very different types of diabetes. And when diabetics who inject insulin get their dose wrong, things can get bad fast."
Notable Comment: "[Holly Ribarchik Ferry] Worst thing about being diabetic: listening to/reading uneducated people make comments on a disease that they have no idea about. No, cinnamon and okra water are NOT going to cure my diabetes."
Now if only he would open a chain of stores that sold nothing but sloppy nachos and tubs of frosting that come with a spoon.
Notable Comment: "[Rachael Stanford] How is any of this important to the story on Willie Nelson? Or relevant at all."
The poor Muggles, they don't know the joy of riding a broom.
Notable Comment: "[Stefan Vh] Glad to know I'm not the only one with a broom-shaped penis."
Money can grease the wheels of freedom, but apparently it can't do a damn thing for your teeth.
We repeat: she lay down in the middle of a road to stop cars in order to get her owner some help.
Gold Star Comment: "[Adam Henshel] Then she and the other animals overthrew the farm, kicked out the farmer, and started a Socialist society."
If you've ever wondered where the inspiration for the Joker came from take a gander at The Man Who Laughs (1928).
Spooktacular Comment: "[Jesiah DeChanel] The guy in the picture was born on January 22, and Heath Ledger passed away on January 22. What a coincidence."
Let us pitch you a sitcom ...
Some people in entertainment don't even bother trying to come up with fresh ideas.
These stories are so weird we're not even sure Hollywood would touch them.