The Top 10 Cracked Posts You Shared Last Week - 4/12
These last few days we contemplated gross injustices and the crappy medical hands we've been dealt. Yet one cast-iron certainty brightened the gloom: Willie Nelson is still high.
If Every Kids' Show Got a Gritty Live-Action Reboot
Finally, The Rock can play a one-man army with hair. That he can comb really fast.
Notable Comment: " I can imagine the Rock go up to a honey now and say 'You look pretty...I look pretty...why don't we go home and stare at each other?'"
The 7 Most Baffling Things About Women's Clothes
Let's start with the simple stuff, like pockets - then we'll move on to the harder stuff, like pay equality.
Gold Star Comment: " To be fair, they do have 30% less money to hold."
The 6 Most Horrifying Lies The Food Industry is Feeding You
It's in your pancake syrup, muffins, bagel bites - all sorts of sh!t. Oh, and another version might be in your attic, too - for insulation.
6 Ridiculous Lies You Believe About the Founding of America
So, European Settlers did not defeat the Native Americans toe to toe. The path was pretty much cleared by The Stand. Check.
5 Nightmares You Don't Know Until You're Diabetic
"Wait," you ask, "isn't diabetes that disease where you just can't eat sugar, and have to take insulin every once in a while?" Oh, if only it was that simple. For starters, you might be mixing up two very different types of diabetes. And when diabetics who inject insulin get their dose wrong, things can get bad fast."
Notable Comment: " Worst thing about being diabetic: listening to/reading uneducated people make comments on a disease that they have no idea about. No, cinnamon and okra water are NOT going to cure my diabetes."
Now if only he would open a chain of stores that sold nothing but sloppy nachos and tubs of frosting that come with a spoon.
Notable Comment: " How is any of this important to the story on Willie Nelson? Or relevant at all."
20 Real Official Merchandise Items No One Thought Through
The poor Muggles, they don't know the joy of riding a broom.
Notable Comment: " Glad to know I'm not the only one with a broom-shaped penis."
The 18 Most Horrifying Things Rich People Got Away With
Money can grease the wheels of freedom, but apparently it can't do a damn thing for your teeth.
7 True Stories of Animals Rescuing People from Certain Death
We repeat: she lay down in the middle of a road to stop cars in order to get her owner some help.
Gold Star Comment: " Then she and the other animals overthrew the farm, kicked out the farmer, and started a Socialist society."
9 Terrifying Old Movies That Put Modern Horror To Shame
If you've ever wondered where the inspiration for the Joker came from take a gander at The Man Who Laughs (1928).
Spooktacular Comment: " The guy in the picture was born on January 22, and Heath Ledger passed away on January 22. What a coincidence."