The world is a chaotic carnival of madness, and no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important news story. So, as a new service, we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or fucking insane headlines from the last week (or so). Take a deep breath, and buckle up:

Just before HBO aired the final episode of its 6-part documentary about possible multiple-murderer Robert Alan Durst, he was found and arrested in a N

Source: CNN

In a PR move that will undoubtedly prove she is completely sane, former presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann will have a cameo role in the upcoming S

Megachurch evangelist CREFLO DOLLAR posted a video, asking his followers for donafions So he could purchase a luxury Gulfstream G650 Jet ($65 millionJ

Source: CNN

AT AGE 62, ACTOR LLAM NEESON HAS ANNOUNCED HE WILL QUI'T ACTION MOVIES... IN 2 YEARS. TA -C LIAM OF COURSE, HE ALSO SAID HE WOULDN'T NEESON DO A TAREN

After fleeing from a stolen car on March 1 5th. jose Espinoza was later caught by City of Madera Police. despite a masterful disguise. The officers re

Source: UPI

32,000 PEOPLE RSVP'D ON FACEBOOK FOR A GAME OF HIDE-AND-SEEK AT AN IKEA STORE IN THE NETHERLANDS. KURRAGOMMA IKEA APPROXIMATELY! 500 PEOPLE DID SHOW U

Source: Gizmodo

OGGY AND OckRoAcAEs THE Nickelodeon recently pulled the popular (?) cartoon Oggy and the Cockroaches from its website after a pair of cartoon boobs wa

Source: Uproxx

The 12 Most Important Stories You Probably Missed (3/23)

Source: Time

USBTYE-C The USB Type-C port is on its way and may actually make our lives simpler for once. Its amazing capabilities include: Up to 10 Gbps data tran

Source: Gizmodo

Nicholas Brendon, otherwise known as Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, has been arrested for the 3rd time in 5 months. Each arrest took place at

Source: People

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