Those that were able to sneak a peak saw the fifth use: Having your giant battle robot use one as an attack penis.
The Original Purpose:
There's really no way to pussyfoot around this: The earliest models of modern-day chainsaws were designed to chop into women's nether regions during childbirth.
Keith Brofsky/Photodisc/Getty Images
"You're going to feel a little pinch."
See, just like the horse and buggy or stepping outside of your house ever, giving birth in the 18th century had the potential to murder you horribly. This was particularly a problem for women with smaller frames or those suffering from the common deformities caused by rickets, since such conditions could lead to obstructed labors (thereby leading to high death rates for the child) or C-sections (thereby leading to high death rates for the mom). To help move things along, the best option at the time was a "division of the symphysis pubis," which is a combination of sciency words used to distract a woman from the fact that a doctor was about to agonizingly saw through her pelvic bone to give the baby a wider path through which to shoot out.
569 Comments