Wait, no, we have tried that. And it looks awesome.
While the concept sounds like something a panicked child would doodle on a trifold hours before the science fair, this is a legitimate system that can fire a salmon up to 230 feet in the air. The company responsible for this, Whooshh (good thing there's an extra "h" at the end, or it would sound silly), originally invented the cannon to transport fruit, until someone said, "f**k it, let's put it a live tilapia in there and see what happens." Shockingly, the tilapia didn't come out as sushi on the other end, and so Whooshh is now officially in the fish-shooting business.
Michael Hoeweler/Popular Mechanics
30 feet per second! 40 fish per minute! 15 confused fishermen per hour!
The fish don't appear to suffer anything worse than temporary bafflement, although more extensive tests are still ongoing. If successful, salmon cannons could be installed throughout the country, and then hopefully human-sized ones will be put in water parks. The tests are being run by a government lab, although a sizable portion of the funding is coming from a mysterious outside benefactor known only as Y.B. (his address only says "Jellystone Park").