4

Charles Lindbergh Had Multiple Families

Library of Congress

You may only know Charles Lindbergh as the heroic aviator who became world-famous for flying across the Atlantic alone in a tiny airplane without dying. But he was also one of the world's biggest celebrities in his day, becoming a prize-winning author and (unintentionally) the target of one of the most infamous crimes in modern history. He was always a straightlaced type, a seemingly stiff and puritanical family man (even if he was a bit of a Nazi sympathizer).

CharlesLindbergh.com

And a family man he was. So much, in fact, that he kept three separate secret lovers, fathered a total of seven children among them, and divided his Dad Time between these families.

His choices for secret lovers were absolutely classic porn film fodder, too; one was his secretary, and the other two were sisters. How did that happen? Well, taking advantage of being one of the few people in the world who actively flew around at that point, Lindbergh happily chased tail in Europe. First to succumb to his high-flying charm was his secretary Valeska, who later introduced him to her friends, the sisters Brigitte and Marietta, both of whom he'd go on to sex. All three women had his children, although none of them ever discussed this in public, choosing to honor a vow of secrecy they gave to Lindbergh. We only know about this because Brigitte's children chose to bring the subject to light after their mother died in 2001, thoroughly surprising the "official" Lindbergh children.

via merkur-online.de

3

Hans Christian Andersen Was SUPER Into Masturbation

Thora Hallager

Hans Christian Andersen was one of history's foremost fairy tale writers, having churned out classics such as The Little Mermaid and The Princess and the Pea. However, that's not all he churned. The man really, really liked jerking off. We know this because he kept a diary in which he would record meeting with people, then indicate what a wonderful masturbation session he had at their expense later on. Being the kind of dude who keeps a chicken-choking diary, he sometimes went into fairly intimate details, including status updates consisting only of phrases like, "penis sore."

Helen Stratton

His fascination with masturbation was probably due to him finding actual sex frightening and confusing, a mere glimpse of a sexy lady enough to render him into a flustered mess. As such, he lived in celibacy and likely remained a virgin throughout his life. This didn't stop him from venturing out to get, uh, "inspiration." He was known to visit prostitutes and just talk with them for a while. Then he went home and masturbated, again recording the events in his diary.

Christian Albrecht Jensen

2

Erwin Schrodinger Lived With Multiple Women

Daderot/Wikimedia

Nobel-Prize-winning scientist Erwin Schrodinger is famous for his groundbreaking work in physics and philosophy, but his "Schrodinger's Cat" dilemma will probably be his legacy among regular folks like us (even though most people misunderstand it -- the point of the dilemma is that it doesn't make sense).

Koogid/Wikimedia

He also quite liked fuckin'.

Schrodinger viewed copulation both as an enjoyable activity and a bona fide means of achieving a higher state of consciousness. As such, his life was dotted with passionate affairs, which his wife Anna wholeheartedly supported. She even happily provided backup whenever Erwin wanted to get out of a particularly clingy tryst. Because things weren't complicated enough yet, the couple eventually took the next step and started living with a woman named Hilde, who birthed Schrodinger's child.

Old Erwin had his life exactly how he wanted it, until 1933, when Austria's flirtation with Nazism turned into heavy petting, and he decided it was time to get the hell out. However, while other talented minds were jumping ship and leaving everything behind with relative ease, Schrodinger's visa issues proved a little more ... complicated. Not only did he need a visa for himself and his wife, but he also needed one for Hilde. The best option was to take a position in a foreign university, with them as his assistants, but the issue was finding an institution that didn't turn its nose up at their little menage a trois (which occasionally ventured in a quatre territory, thanks to his constant conquests).

NobelPrize.org

1

King Edward VII Fucked So Much, It Required Special Furniture

Luke Fildes

History may remember Edward VII of England as the monarch who brokered an important treaty with France, but we'd like to remember his other important achievement: commissioning the invention of fuck chairs for fat guys.

Samuel Bourne

Queen Victoria spent her life in search of the perfect image for the British Royal Family. Fortunately for this article, these ideals were constantly thwarted by the actions of her eldest son Bertie (the future Edward VII).

Bertie had already fallen from his mother's graces at an early age, when his army friends in Ireland set him up with a local prostitute. The notoriously prudish queen didn't exactly approve of this, and her husband Prince Albert chastised the young prince for jumping into "the hands of one of the most abject of the human species, to be by her initiated into the sacred mysteries of creation, which ought to be shrouded in holy awe until touched by pure and undefiled hands!" That was an actual quote, by the way. He had that kind of parents.

Franz Xaver Winterhalter