And that's it. End of episode. We're forced to conclude that two of our beloved cartoon buddies were ultimately raped to death by knives.
Garfield Comics -- Garfield Starves to Death, Murders an Old Lady
Jim Davis/Random House
Since 1978, Garfield creator Jim Davis never really strayed from the strip's winning formula of lazy + cat = $$$. Until Halloween 1989, when Davis finally decided that this grumpy cat story needed an infusion of bleak, existential terror.
In the 1989 Halloween special, Garfield wakes up to find his home abandoned and his family gone. He has familiar visions of Jon and Odie, but those turn out to be hallucinations. Did they ever exist? Were they just figments of poor, lonely, scared Garfield's imagination? The answer, it turns out ... is irrelevant, because, either way, Garfield is starving to death in an abandoned building! But here's your happy ending: according to the strip's final message, Garfield's nutrient-deprived mind will make up a more pleasant reality to wrap itself in, allowing him to die nuzzled in the warm blanket of insanity.
Jim Davis/Random House
Damn. We played the "Lovecraftian Hero" joke card too early.
And then there's the comic collection Garfield: His 9 Lives (1984), which features nine different versions of Garfield, including one where he's a normal house cat named Tigger.
Normal is a relative term in Charnok, the Shadowland of Weeping Blood.
The story, titled "Primal Self," is about a tabby who wanders through his home as supernatural entities manifest themselves all around him. As the story progresses, the primal darkness catches up with Tigger, overtaking him and turning the lovable fuzzball into a vicious, feral cat.
His last coherent thoughts were about how Mondays are probably to blame for this.
But when he wakes up, it turns out that it was all just a dream!
... A dream that has broken him inside. The last panel shows a possessed Tigger jumping his elderly owner with ancient bloodlust in his eyes. And, yeah, it's never outright stated that he kills the old lady, but ...
He totally kills the old lady.
You can follow Erik Germ on Twitter and read more from him at Hugefrigginarms.com.
For more terrifying bastardizations of our childhood, check out 5 Horrifying Details Hidden in Classic Children's Cartoons and The 7 Most Unintentionally Nightmarish Children's Characters.
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